The Adventurous Reality

Sacrifices.

2011-12-14T04:51:00.003+08:00

I'm sitting at home, taking a breather from the last trade transacted in the NYSE. I only made $30 today. I could have done better, but I know where my limits lie. I was never a good trader. Damn it. This is the time of knowing that I need to improve my skills in stock trading. I need to learn new things and pick up technical analysis.

It's never enough though, I'm sitting here thinking if I did make the right choice to stay home and trade rather than go out on a hot date. The necessary sacrifices I need to make lies in my own hands. It's never easy, making tough decisions and choosing what's best for myself. It could have been my future wife damn it.

I'm working/studying my ass off instead of partying, no longer the club goer I guess. Nevertheless, I'm proud of myself for making the right decisions in Life. I resisted and persisted till now, I still have a long way to go but I'm always keeping up. It may seem insignificant to the rich bastards out there, by that I mean the super rich. $5,000 won't seem of a dig deal to those people. To them it'll be like $0.05? Don't worry though, I'll catch up...it's a long way but I swear, I'll make you eat your fucking words and prove to you my worth.

You think I'm a joke in Life huh? Well fuck you. You don't know me. You don't know a single thing about me now so STFU.

I may not be the best in my studies, but I get the job done. I still managed to scrape off 3 Bs and Cs for the rest, I never once failed. I'm not the best or skilled orator around when it comes to vocabulary, but I'll manage to send the message across. I'm not a cool, anti-social dude that hates Christmas..I love it and I'll probably wish everyone I know a happy Christmas! And for God sake, after so long you still have a grudge against me when I didn't even do a single thing to hurt you?

Ugh, what the heck is wrong with people nowadays? Can't everyone just love one another? Why all the politics? What the fuck is there to gain by being political to a friend whom only wants the best for you? What the fuck is there to gain by being political in everything that you do? School, work and even in friends. Damn! Now I've seen the worst, I dealt with people who lie, steal and cheat. And the biggest of them all are the fucked up politicians, how could they live with themselves? Resorting to morally-defiled means to further their own ends, I don't mean those on television, I mean those who dabble in politics in every single aspect of their lives.

Fuck my Life, I would never want to associate myself with people like that. Maniacs really.

By the way..I'm ****.

2011-12-09T02:51:00.004+08:00

Her eyes opened up. "Really?! So..what do you do?", she said enthusiastically. "Oh, just a little bit of this and that, running around, selling contracts, trading stocks, doing my degree, the usual really..nothing much". I exclaimed.

Fucking pathetic, what the fuck could I say really? I had it. Why the fuck are Women fucking materialistic nowadays? Do I look like an ATM to you? No I fucking don't.

It takes time to find the right one. And it'll take awhile. I don't expect anything else but the best for myself, because I am working to be the best I can be. I don't get paid to do small-time now, it's another step up the ladder.

I don't want to eat expensive food, drink the most expensive wine, fish on a yacht or play golf.

I like eating local food in hawker centres, drinking beer and kopi o, jogging in the park, playing music and hitting the gym. The only expensive things I want? A kick-ass 4 second car and a nice place to stay in. Beyond that, whatever money I have will be invested to make more money meant for a higher purpose, technology and exploration. And of course, buying a 2 way ticket on the Virgin Galactic. Heck, I'd even invest in Asteroid mining.

Patience.

2011-12-07T02:47:00.002+08:00

How long more? Till I make it big?

I'm sick of wearing suits and ties, going for meetings, networking, working my ass off, studying.

Sigh..

I need patience. I need to stay away from drama. I need to keep myself motivated. Achieving success is not easy, staying successful is even harder. I won't forget what I learned from networking. From self-made millionaires, entrepreneurs and businessmen alike. I need to pick up good traits that separates me from the rest. Besides that, I'm getting worse off in my vocabulary and spelling..I realized I've been relying too much on spell-check. Time to brush up.

I wished I started work earlier on..I'm getting old. Turning 21 made me realize a sublime reality..there is after all..so many things waiting to be explored. The World is big, so is the whole solar system...I at least want to see the Moon in my own eyes in space..and that makes me complete.

I just hope I'll stay true to what I want in the first place and not get corrupted by the likes of power-hungry and overly ambitious Men. Too many times have Men fallen for underhanded means of achieving their goals, working in a company for the sake of copying its' success model and then starting up another one to compete, bending lesser Men to do their bidding, bribes, tokens of appreciation, etc...I hate it. Resorting to such trickery won't help others, but what can I say? It's a grey area after all...and from that a hint of grey arises.

Most ridiculous thing ever.

2011-11-29T16:29:00.001+08:00

Old man signs a contract between the company. Old man claims non-est-factum.

Is this all?

2011-11-28T18:19:00.002+08:00

What is the reason for existence? It's what I ask myself everytime after the death of someone close. I ponder upon it for days, sleepless nights even to know what I'm here for. A purpose, a reason to live. We come and we go, don't matter who we are..death will come for us eventually. In the end, we all die.

There are things in Life that I want to achieve, but now I wonder if they're worth achieving it. If it makes me happy, or will it make me hunger for more. Power, Money and Sex. We want one of these. In all honesty, the human nature of self-preservation and instinct reaches out to all three.

I hope I will stay true to my own values. I'm beginning to question my own actions and the people I trust, what's right and wrong or grey. The genuineness of honesty, love and compassion..are all of these just tools for gain? Or are they truly what they are meant to be.

Time and time again I'm faced with situations that conflicts the interests of one person or the other. It's good to know that Money will never shut the mouths of passionate people. I respect people like that. Good-natured people whom really care for your well-being. And are willing to take a bullet for you. These are the people that I will never let go from, these are the people that I call Friends, Family and my Wife (in 10 years time).

Life is full of surprises, it motivates me more to find out the true resolution of Life. There's definitely a reason why we're here. What we are meant to do and who God really is. I know I won't live to see an era of enlightenment, but I can be content to know that I have people that cares about me. It is after all, the most comforting thing to know in your final stages of Life.

I have the time to do everything now, rather than worry about not having enough time to do anything.

Studying.

2011-11-27T02:16:00.003+08:00

I can't believe it. Clubbing makes me tired. So that's it. I'm studying. Fuck it all, I don't give a shit about fun now. Gotta work on what I want, and I want good grades damn it.

Time to move on with work too, I need more work experience. I need a solid CV if I ever wanted to land a good career. Moving up the ladder is one of the most troublesome things ever. To learn and apply what I know. I need more experience on how to run a business. I need it to be successful in making my own business grow.

It's tough, but these are the things that I'd rather be doing now. I gotta push myself more, to get what I want.

Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger.

2011-11-26T19:44:00.005+08:00

I'm obsessed. Money never seemed so good. Thank God I'm not fucking old like the other assholes full of regrets.

Oh yeah, I'm single. So screw it, I can date whomever I want. Don't go around playing your mind games cause they don't work on me.

I don't give a shit. I don't care who you go out with and what the heck your doing with someone else. Sorry, but what makes me happy now is earning big bucks. It's all about money now anyway.

Next up, doing well for school. I'm not gonna give a shit about what others think. I'm here to study and learn.

I got all the time in the World to achieve my dreams when I'm young. Had a good prep talk with good people, these include family, awesome friends and self-made millionaires. Time to make full use of my youth, work out hard in the gym, earn big bucks while I'm young and start chasing my dreams when I'm financially successful. Who gives a shit about getting married now? Fuck the drama queens, mean bitches and gold diggers. I don't need people like them in my Life. Will I never meet the right one I wonder. What a waste of time and energy going out.

Time to earn big money, score As for school and secure my future baby! Oh, chase a particular person in the days to come to claim what was taken from me. Bastard.

I play nice. But when I'm pushed, I'll make you fall. Don't expect Mr. Nice to show up too often.

RIP

2011-11-20T09:58:00.000+08:00

RIP Grandpa.

You are a bad example to me.

2011-11-17T23:54:00.002+08:00

I guess I could never meet your expectations. Or make you proud. The moment you said that changed what I thought of you as a parent.

I guess I'm different, I'm not classy enough, not successful enough in any aspects of my Life, I'm heading down-town while your still uptown.

All the more to get rich by my own steam ASAP.

I'm not an elite, I don't behave like one. I'm just someone whom works for what I want. What I want to do in my Life and it has nothing to do with your own expectations of me. I don't care what you think or want from me now, it won't make a difference. Keep your money, I don't need it. I'm happy making my own from my own hard work. It's not much, but it's enough for now. Just wait..it'll take awhile, but I swear I'll surpass you eventually.

Work is not enough.

2011-11-14T21:20:00.004+08:00

How long more before I make it big? How long more till success? I realized that no matter how hard I work, it's useless. Work is not enough, sure it can be beneficial for the experience and a good CV record.

I need to find ways to multiply my money. Investments are too slow, businesses are too risky, working only gets you into a cycle of the rat race. I'm sick of it, but it'll take more than that to bring me down.

Gotta work harder, gotta work smarter, gotta make my money work for me. But how? It all boils down to what I can do with my time, my hard earned savings and talents. I need a way, I need guidance. But really, I need to find out what suits me better.

I don't really like my education standard, I can do better than that if I stay focused on one thing at a time, but time is of the essence. I'll be competing with degree holders and most of them have at least years of job experience. I gotta gain the competitive advantage by being different, doing things differently and making "friends" with the right people. Seriously, I hate the politics. I fucking hate being political. I just like to talk what I want without being judged or gossiped about. Seriously what the fuck is there to gain talking shit about another person?

Do I need to get a nice car, branded goods and first class rights to gain some respect? Ridiculous really, I don't like to waste money on things when it's not worth it. The cost of living is rising and I'm having problems with my own finances thanks to inflation..gotta manage my assets to make sure I don't make a loss. I need more money to achieve my dreams. The problem is, how the fuck am I going to make more money with depreciating money? How the fuck can I combat the inflation rate and at least make a 20% gain in net worth?

I realized my net worth isn't much, it's fucking pathetic. Thank God I'm not in debt though, that I didn't give in to the dream of owning a sports car. Shit, it's expensive when you take a loan and pay by instalments with the ever increasing interest rate. You gotta pay till your hand gets chopped off.

Property prices are high too, I need to own a property as soon as possible. Loan it out and collect rent to break-even my expenditure with passive income.

It's not easy to make money, it's fucking hard to earn. But I guess, we're all in it for the money first. I need to take a look again at my values, morals and ethics. Got rid of the boy for the Man to grow. Or businessman. It takes plenty of time to rethink what I want. What is right and wrong, what is beneficial and what can harm. Sigh, why do things get so fucking complicated?

I just wished the World can be a better place, that people could start to find a purpose for living. A purpose to be in this World and what secrets the Universe holds, all waiting to be discovered. What can be done to live forever and is there such thing as a soul?

Why oh why does money affect all things like these? I'm starting to see the bigger picture here, beyond normal boundaries and thinking...why do I bother even sharing when no one else cares about what I think? I just hope I can make a difference in the World.

Oh, revenge is sweet..but the repercussions that come with it is not.

Time as a commodity.

2011-11-13T02:56:00.002+08:00

Time is precious, how its spent can determine if its productive or not.

After talking and spending quality time with an experienced employer with good credibility, I realized that I need to maximize more of my time getting work experience, what I have is not enough. It may be rated a 8 on a scale of 1-10 now but in the future? No. It depreciates because I'll be competing with a ton of degree holders, most with work experience. I need to have the competitive advantage and learn more about IT and programming also business development skills.

Time to redo my schedule. Building my value as a Man, I may be young..but it doesn't mean I'm inexperienced. Nevertheless, its time to learn more!

Its not enough.

2011-11-07T12:26:00.004+08:00

I'm working hard everyday, even during the holidays I'm studying and managing assets. I can't believe it. No matter how much hard work I put in, its just not enough. I want success, I want to be financially free. But the thing is, I hate waiting. I hate putting hours into something that I won't benefit from. I need a better paying job and there has been offers, starting out as an asset manager with $3,000 basic pay and limitless commission should the profits come. Sounds good, because it's what I'm good at. But really, do I even have the time to complete my education if I take up that job?

Again it's about getting my priorities right, know what I want to do and to achieve in both long and short term. It takes a lot of discipline to keep to my goals. Although I don't achieve most of them, I'm still happy achieving a small portion. And that makes me happy! Because I do have a sense of achievement in my Life. Time flies, and so will people.

Life's a bitch, then you die.

2011-11-05T00:06:00.002+08:00

"I used to wonder why I was me. Why wasn't I that rich guy? Why wasn't I smart? Why wasn't I attractive? Why? Why? Why? It took me 50 years to find out all those things were only my choice of thoughts. I hope it doesn't take you that long. It really matters very little what your friends, teachers, parents, etc. think or believe about you. Because you are you, it is your opinion that counts. You don't need the validation of others. But you do need the acceptance, love and validation of yourself.

Life's one choice after another, then you live them, choose wisely.

Life is a series of linear events. A chain of choices about those events, leading to other events. Never ending cycles of pain and pleasure for learning and growth. When the sun shines, it shines on everyone. When it rains, it rains on all.

Every single person will experience at some point during their lifetime: tragedy, failure, depression and hopelessness. They will also experience: joy, happiness, success and unconditional love. We live in a world of duality. There is a reason for it.

Some people master the rollercoaster ride life offers them, and some don't. Why? It is an easy question to answer. The successful ones believe in themselves and their ability to win. While the others feel overwhelmed by life's ambivalences. They do so because their fearful thoughts keep them frozen in indecision, unable to make progress, due to fear of failure. If they only knew that "they were not their thoughts" improvement would be certain.

The reasons for feeling negative about yourself are numerous. Growing up in a disfunctional family. The criticism of inexperienced teachers. Comparing yourself to, and competing with, others. Holding unrealistic expectations of performance and many more. The reasons don't matter, they're history. What matters is now. This present moment. What do you do now to change your life.

First. Realize that "you are not your thoughts." Your thoughts are under your control at all times. There are no exceptions to this. People do not make you angry; you allow yourself to become angry. People do not depress you; you depress yourself. Your emotions are controlled by you and you alone. Quit reacting to others in a knee-jerk fashion and start thinking.

Second. Get away from all the negative stuff you possible can. Don't watch or read the daily news. If something important happens, a friend will let you know. Don't go to negative movies, read negative books, etc. Stop eating and drinking things that have a negative effect on you -- booze, cigarettes, snuff, drugs, etc. Not easy, huh! Well, quit as many as you can now, the others will come later.

Third. Start working with positive things. Read self-help books, inspirational books, biographies of famous people, etc. Join a support group, make friends with positive people. Do affirmations and exercises with positive statements. Devote some time everyday to work with understanding yourself. If you don't help yourself, who will.

Whether you believe it or not -- you are eternal. Within you is a light and love so powerful, so beautiful, that it can not be described in human language. You can't fail. You will succeed. You are always safe and secure. Your Creator is proud of you and never loses faith in you. Don't lose faith in yourself."

Article excerpt from: http://aleroy.com/bitch.htm

Chasing pavements.

2011-11-02T14:57:00.008+08:00

Should I give up? Or should just keep chasing pavements?

It takes lots of balls to admit that I'm close to the point of giving up. Chasing after my dreams were a failure. I couldn't implement what I learned and make any of it manifest.

Now I wonder, why the heck am I doing this? I lost my sense of purpose, I lost my ability to get back into the fight and keep on going. Somehow, I thought of ending it all. But I can't, because there are things to do before I go.

I can't focus anymore, I made my biggest loss yesterday. There goes my hard-earned money.

I was chasing a stupid dream.

I'm not successful in any relationship that I got into. It's always good in the start, but then things screw up in the middle.

I'm not as fit as I used to be, it takes me 15 mins to complete 1.5 miles instead of 10.

I lost most of my savings, spent most of it away on stupid things.

I'm not as smart or sharp-witted. I lost my ability to write well and even complete half a page of a research paper with spelling errors.

The list goes on, but fuck it.

I'm just tired of all the shit. I need to rest. I need to recuperate.

I'm tired of all the assholes out there, dealing with them is a fucked up thing because of stupid requests on days off.

How long more? Till I start making enough to start a business, buy a house, take over the car and achieve my dreams?

And what the fuck did I do to even deserve the gossip and rumors about me? Sigh. I hate politics. Assholes who are nice to you upfront but talk shit about you behind your back which is fucking bullshit. Stupid really.

Mum was right, I need to start surrounding myself with more successful people. Change my life to a better environment. I never knew she was willing to support me. I thought I was alone but she told me family will always be there. And not to give a damn about what people say about what I got from my own family because the world itself is unfair.

And you know what, I don't give a fuck. There will always be people out there whom are envious. No need to perfect myself according to the eyes of others because there's just too many people out there to please.

Gotta be happy about what I have. And work towards success. Sorry, but I don't want to get stuck in the rat race. I don't care what happens. I want my freedom from any financial liabilities.

Time to work harder for what I want. Seize every opportunity given, and give back with thanks.

Gotta take good care of myself too, I realized I'm tiring myself out by not having enough sleep and fun.

Can't wait till the exams are over.

I know.

2011-11-01T10:22:00.031+08:00

I know every single thing you said about me.

I was made fun of, the joke for dinner on a table, disrespected, talked bad about and the rumors you made about me.

How I spend money like it's water and how that it's not mine?

Please, I work for my mum, that doesn't mean I'm working for free. I got a business to run and that means I have to get paid for my efforts. Whatever money I get, is based on how much work and contribution I put in. If I helped close a $10,000,000 deal I get paid accordingly, if I worked 10 hours a day, I get paid by the hour with a 150% increment after the 8 hours. And mind you, I have a load of cash to spend. Only that I used to spend most of it on you. I know the value of money too, how fucking hard it is to earn, just that I was blinded by my own fucking insecurities which I got over.

Now I maximize my time to earn as much as I can to start my business, I'm trading stocks 24/5, got a deposit account to deduct a part of my salary for extra savings, working over-time to earn more, invested in mutual funds and acting according to my budget. Does it include any of my parents money? No.

Talk all you want. People whom know me know what I stand for, that's why they rather ask about my bad habits directly than talk about it. And they did know how much I have grown, how much I have changed. Nevertheless, you opened my eyes.

I moved on.

I'm a nice person really, all you need to do is to clear the air with me.

What the did I do to you anyways to make you so spiteful? I remembered that it was always me who was there for you, not the opposite. I know, I'm too clingy, I come on too strong and you can't get over the mental barrier of "dating" younger guys, or kids.

So I learned, I backed off, I grew up. And really, your actions alone will speak for what you got. And still, your showing how disrespectful and cynical you are of others by doing this. It doesn't matter to me, because I'm more successful than I was and will continue to be!

All along I wanted to help you be successful as well, because I did see the potential in you..to be a success..to be free from the chains of financial liabilities, but in the end..I dragged myself into the endless cycle of self-destructive habits and of course, crashed and burned. It was all because I wasn't strong enough to handle it. Now however, I am. Enough of the complications and drama please.

I just wished that we could come to a level of mutual understanding and respect. I used to get angry and boiled up when I heard your name, thought about you or even see your posts of Facebook, but now? I just hope your doing all right. I learned and let live. Forgiven, but not forgotten of course or I wouldn't be learning from this valuable lesson!

Nevertheless, I wish you peace and success, my friend.

Ever heard of karma?

2011-10-29T04:27:00.013+08:00

Ever did something you regret till this very day? I did. And karma bit me. Thankfully, my actions were not severe. And I gladly paid for the consequences in full.

I've always wondered what the fuck to do with my own life now that life's better. It's good not to give a shit to the ones that broke your fucking heart.

Still, it's good to let go of the fucking hate and anger. It pulls me down, I need to make amends with certain people and start on a clean slate. Wouldn't want to make enemies in the future, especially what I'm aiming about is helping people.

Appreciate and stay with those who really do care about me. Family included. It's not about the money anymore. I don't care how much I'm getting, I'll gladly give everything away to charity for the sake of having 1 more year with Grandpa and Grandma. It's about spending time with the ones who will always be there for you in times of need. Even when you don't need them, they'll still be there. Mom, dad, sis, my uncles and aunts, and cousins. I gotta take care of them all in the future, I'll want to build better relations between my relatives, they're important to me now. I wonder really, how the ideals of family got corrupted by money and power indoctrinated by the ones who did the raising up.

I need to let the hate go. I need to forgive. I need to move on.

I gotta stay focused too, I need to build my career. I realized my CV's quite all right, and that there's plenty of opportunities waiting for me. I know I'm good with trading stocks, but I know I can be better. It's time to up my game once I saved up more money to start trading full-time, good to work by my own steam and not rely on parents.

I have a different view of Life now. She did wake the fuck out of me, I did deserve that bitch slap because I'm a fucking idiot.

No more, no less. Nothing's gonna compromise my Life ever again. I'll take my time to improve myself, it's a long way. I just hope I won't falter from my own path.

As I learn, I grow. I get stronger.

I'll never let a Woman get me the wrong way again. Always gotta keep my heart in check, still..I can't help but feel sorry for myself. Damn, what a wuss I had become. All for the crazy, stupid love. I know there's gonna be more heartbreaks in the future. But I'm not gonna let myself get scarred for Life ever again. It's fucking traumatic. I had nightmares, I can't sleep, I can't focus. All because of Love. Is love even real now? I fucking had enough.

Oh well, might as well welcome myself to the dark World and embrace it cynically.

God help me in this time of transit and give me the strength to persevere on the road to success , oh wait...I'm the one that worked my own way up. So fuck it, why rely on God when you only got yourself to rely on? I did help myself up anyway.

It's bullshit seriously. Especially the people you know around you end up "sinning" every single day except Church day of course, and give the excuse that we're not perfect and we need to ask God for forgiveness. Well, I'd rather ask myself for forgiveness for being a stupid ass, believing in something for nothing.

I hope there are still good people out there in this World. I seriously need to change my environment. It's fucking delusional and negative.

People.

2011-10-28T01:12:00.015+08:00

WHAT THE FUCK REALLY?

Assholes. Yes, I'm pissed.

It's because particularly, these few "human beings" don't have the balls to face me AND DEAL WITH THEIR FUCKING OWN INSECURITIES.

What gives you the fucking right to judge a person, when you never stepped in his shoes?

None. You have never ever done what I done. So..SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Do you even have the slightest idea, that your fucking with the wrong person.

Fuck with me, I'll fucking sue your sorry ass till kingdom comes.

Just say it in my face please.

Well, I had enough. I won't give a shit about what you say, because you don't know me at all.

It takes maturity to let go of the hate. I won't hate, I'll pity. Because your ignorant of your own mistakes and actions till the point you end up destroying your own life.

Sigh...it's just tiring.

I grew up, improved my own Life, my own well-being, my own financial status, everything.

But really some out there will still be stuck in their own cycle of destruction and be unsuccessful until they themselves become aware of their own destructive actions.

I just had enough of emotional vampires. I had enough of surrounding myself with unsuccessful people. I had enough of being around with political assholes whom give a shit only about themselves. I had enough of people who loathe what they can't have, bitch and whine because their own parents don't give a shit about themselves.

What a waste of time and energy.

I never want to judge a person, but based on my observations I can falsely assume (with humor) and extreme prejudice that;

Some are good and fun to be with, but when it comes to making a decision that could change their lives for the better, they screw it up. Why oh why do they have to do that?

Some are smart, intelligent and know what they have to do. But they don't do it and boast instead of their large pool of knowledge.

Some are poor, but they make up for it by working hard, little do they fail to see that they can be a success and not take the opportunity to get rich.

Some are jealous of what they can't have, they bitch and whine. Comparing themselves irrationally, gather together and bitch and whine again about how fucked up their lives are.

The list goes on really. We are not perfect, I know that. I'm not perfect too. I can critique myself till the point of no return if I ever wanted to.

The lesson learned here is not to judge a person, but instead, to help and be there for them when they need it. It's up to them if they want the help or not. Rest assured, I will never hate a person for who he/she is. You have every right to be who you choose to be. Should you hate me for who I am, I'm okay with it. Because I'd rather deal with own issues than dwell on the hate and negative energy. So go ahead and gossip about me, my family, my actions and the words that come out of my mouth.

Oh, and talking about family, I'm fortunate enough to have a good family. It's your own problem if you loathe what I have and what I was given. Get over it and move the fuck on. Life's unfair, bitch and whine all you want nothing's gonna change that unless you take action to improve your own Life. And then work hard, get successful, have kids, oh and eventually, another unfortunate kid will bitch and whine about how much you give your kids. Or even when you don't, perhaps your kid will bitch and whine about how much another kid has been given.

I admit, whatever I had and was given was from my parents. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'll gladly take the opportunity given and make them proud. But I'm not spoon-fed. I know how much money means to me and to my entire family.

So, based on the influx of angry thoughts and emotions without registering it on a level of maturity, I'll briefly say this to you:

FUCK YOU.

That, was satisfying.

PS: I'm sorry if I offended you, I don't hate you. Don't take it personally.

Relationship between money and life.

2011-10-25T14:26:00.005+08:00

Money, it's important. It's been difficult for me to control my own spending. So I decided to set aside $1,700 every time my salary comes in. Meaning I'll only have $2,000 to spend monthly. Man, it's not easy. Everything's fucking expensive nowadays thanks to inflation, the increasing population and consumers.

But looking at my savings and investment account makes me happy! I know that I have the means to get what I want in the future. Thank God that when I was insane, a glimpse of sanity came back.

Aside from that, life's good. I decided to continue my own passion for music. In less than 3 days, I learned how to play chords on my digital piano. Discovered I had talent for the piano as well!

I'm appreciating everything I have in Life. I love what I have! It's rare for someone my age to own a car. But it's been good so far, it still looks as shiny as ever.

I still wanna make my own success in this World by my own steam. I don't want to rely on my parents, it's stupid really. I gotta prove to myself that I can do it! All the more to keep on fighting, get a kick-ass resume and learn as much as I can. It's more than the money really, it's about the experiences and lessons we learn in our own hardships. With these lessons, money is something that we'll know how to make by then.

After the exams, I'm gonna work on my business plan again. It's not over, despite the lack of efforts put in by others, I'm not giving up something that I believe in. I know it'll work out fine. I know that it could generate at least a small sum for now, it's a million dollar idea! But nevertheless, I gotta critique my own plans. There will always be 2 sides of a coin. And I need to consider every possible outcome and scenario. Anticipate the bad, appreciate the good.

Well, it's been good so far. It's good to write my own thoughts down. Helps me reflect on what I'm doing.

I should get a dog...well maybe. Till next time.

Big house or Penthouse?

2011-10-23T16:35:00.003+08:00

I'll miss this place. =(

I'm planning to move out as soon as I can, with my family of course. The problem though is we're not sure what we want, a penthouse, or our own land.

Each have their own pros and cons. Well, I'll leave this to the hands of God. Amen.

Efforts to be paid off, in full.

2011-10-23T04:14:00.002+08:00

I've been focused in doing what I do.

Studying, managing, trading, working on my new kick-ass business plan. and hitting the gym!

Life's good.

I gotta stay really focused on my studies for now, Economics is a key factor in my life now. Heck, it has never been so convenient! Knowing the economic situation helps in trading stocks. I made more everyday when I started to read the news and applied economic theories in my trading. Well, learn and apply they say.

Money ain't gonna be a problem for me soon. I can smell the $10,000,000 coming my way. Just a little more, and I'll be living the high life!

Still, I like being an entrepreneur. I'll see through my own business plan, using as little resources as possible to challenge myself. It'll be boring when you can buy almost everything.

And I like living a life of humility. At most, I'll get new clothes, a nicer car, buy private property and rent them out while I stay with my parents to look after them.

Rich dad, Poor dad. We all have our role models. I'm glad I chose the right one. It's funny, when in the end, the things that we all chased for, becomes nothing.

Hot night of adventures!

2011-10-21T03:15:00.001+08:00

Yeah baby!

I'm back in the game! I still got what it takes. Time to lose a few more pounds and I'll be looking good!

No benefits.

2011-10-17T21:56:00.009+08:00

Say goodbye to all your benefits.

As a 21 year old Student, I spent a lot on you.

But it's okay, as the next inheritor, Money won't be a problem for me.

A $250,000 Wedding ain't a problem for me, a $20,000 Honeymoon? Like a tickle in my pocket.

Funny how luck follows the unfortunate and how the unintelligent got smart.

By the way, I'm not a kid tailing you around. I did care about you, loved you. But shit happens and we all know that things don't go well. So we move on.

Seriously, do I even get a "Thank You" for all the things I've done? Oh wait..your not the sort of person to say things verbally but rather one that takes action. LOL.

When there's a will, there's a way.

2011-10-17T00:42:00.009+08:00

There's always a solution to a problem! A way around an obstacle!

I know now how to think out of the box! I can't believe I didn't thought of such a brilliant plan!

The way I look at it, I still have a long way to go. Learning is a never-ending journey. A lifelong process.

I know I got the power to achieve what I want, I need to put in more effort to achieve it.

I'm gonna get better with finances eventually, but I need to speed up my get-rich scheme.

Time and tide waits for no Man. It's a race against time, to be successful as fast as possible, yet, enjoying the journey and road to success.

Time is of the essence, I need to be Focused. I need to be clear of what I want. I need to clear the air with my own family as well. I'm applying for a scholarship, I believe I will get it eventually and get started on my own career.

Sure it's prestigious being accepted, but it's even more worthwhile to get quality education. This is where I'll be learning from experts in the field. I hope I won't disappoint, everyone else seemed better than me but nevertheless, I'll make do with what I have.

I know no matter how good I am, there's always someone else better. So I figured to keep my own and stay to my own goals to out-beat myself. Not others.

Life is great so far, I learned so many things in a week! I love this feeling of working to success. It makes me whole again.

I'm nice. I'm a person of a good heart. If this didn't happened, I wouldn't be true to myself. That's why I can be nice, but not a people pleaser. I don't aim to please anyone anymore.

And I learned not to give a shit about what happens to a person when they refuse to be helped or turn their very-good friend away and not keep in contact.

God forgive me but the only way to make people see their own mistakes is to learn from them themselves.

I just got my finances right again, I managed to make my money in the stock market despite my rusty-ness. Maybe I should consider Forex, it'll take awhile so I guess I'm playing with "paper" money again.

I need a win-win situation. My business plan is good and even better now after going through crazy experiences. I learned. I implemented. But will my partners contribute? That I need to see. I realized I've been doing quite alot of work other that contributing ideas, distributing the survey personally, re-writing the plan, doing the finances, coming up with better ideas.

So what can they do for me when I register, implement and launch the business?

That, I'll need to see.

I love my project mates, they're awesome people! I never expected them to be down-to-earth. But it's cool really.

I guess the people that really care about you will appear in your most desperate times.

I haven't talked to JJ for ages! But it's good to catch up! It was a great day exploring changi, tuas and catching a movie. Wootz! Good to know she's doing all right. Who would have thought she looked awesome.

Maybe I should take up cycling, it's good for health after all. That, I'll need more persuasion and consideration. I like jogging more, but it won't hurt to try out something new.

Exams are coming, I gotta start revising. I want good grades for this one, it is what I'm good at after all. I'm considering of changing schools too once the modules are over. Figured I should be with people of a younger age group? But hanging out with older people makes me motivated! To strive harder and stay focused on my studies. I do miss out hanging with the guys and girls my age or younger. Man I feel like a haggard old man.

I can be young but mature at the right time. I don't need to be mature all the freaking time do I?

I'm 21 for goodness sake. I need to relax and unwind. Feel young again. All the more to really buy the sports car. Sigh, if only my Dad would buy it but then again, buying it with my own money makes it more fulfilling, imagine..a 21 year old, driving a freaking sports car. Man, that'll be great..maybe...no no, delayed gratification is a must.

Nevertheless, I like thinking deep and on a higher level of understanding.

When it's time to be serious, I'll be serious. But when it's time to have I'll have fun! I never had so much fun since I started on this degree.

Well, time to put the "Fun" into my schedule.

Learning and growing.

2011-10-16T11:46:00.004+08:00

I learned so many things for this week.

Anything's possible, and that if I wanted it..I could have gotten what I want through different means. Say if I wanted to close a loan of $10,000,000 for a company, the interest rates don't appeal. Threaten to switch over to another bank. =D

Life is great. I'm looking forward to getting fitter, richer and of course better than before.

I still got what it takes.

2011-10-14T05:16:00.002+08:00

I still got what it takes!

I may not be as good as I was, but I managed to make money. I'm satisfied.

No more trading for the week.

Now, maybe to test-drive that car tomorrow.

福無重至,禍不單行.

2011-10-14T01:16:00.007+08:00

Forgiveness, I need to learn how to forgive.

Of all the things that has been done to hurt me, you did leave a huge flesh wound. But it's okay, scars heal, they won't go away however.

Nevertheless. I've let go of all the hate. No point getting pissed and angry. Revenge sucks, I wouldn't want to hurt anyone else. I learned from this. But I let all the bad things go. No more.

Although I don't like being treated like crap. I could never change a person if the person never wanted my help.

剃头摊子一头热.

I'll let my own actions do the talking. My own efforts. My own experiences and my own hard work. I learned, even from a short period of time..that could take me a year or more to learn through the soft approach.

Parents were right, I'm stubborn as hell. But no longer. I know the steps to take. I know what's necessary and what's not.

Materialistic objects are not important, so is instant gratification. I could have wasted money and lost a huge portion my savings if I bought the Volvo S60. I don't need a car to prove my worth.

I'll persevere, and when $250,000 seems "normal" to me..maybe.

I deserved better.

2011-10-13T01:45:00.019+08:00

Finally, I couldn't take this pain any longer. I spilled it out to a friend that I really trust. She told me everything about what happened to her as well. I do feel sorry, and did we feel sorry for ourselves getting into shit like that. Nevertheless, friends will always be friends and who says a guy and girl can't be friends?!

My heart aches, everyday. When will you see? Of the things I did. Of the Love I had. Of everything, it was meant for you. Only for you.

I guess I'm not as strong as I could be. Nor did I keep my heart in check. Reality's a bitch when you try to be nice. Now however, I learned from this pain. But I could never, ever inflict such damage unto another person. I know if someone like me, used to rejections, break-ups and heart-shattering events can't handle it, no ordinary person can. I don't want to make use of such "mind-fucking" techniques. I need to stay strong to my own values.

Mum left for Shanghai to chase debts, meanwhile..I'm doing the work. I need to stay focused for these few days. I can't afford to get emotional in the workplace as it is unprofessional. I know I can do this, I'll have to do it.

I'm learning to deal with my own insecurities now, I realized I have a lot to work on. I need to be conscious of what I'm doing, plan my actions and thoughts down as well. No need to exaggerate, just tell it as it is. Building more confidence for myself as a Man, learning from what I'm doing and the experiences of others as well. It'll be a long journey before I start to be stable, our personalities tend to change until we're above 30.

I wondered how it turned out like this, it started off well..we were really getting into each other and then things changed. Maybe I became too nice, maybe she got insecure about her previous relationship, got angry over it and decided to take it on me. Or maybe it's just her and what she thinks "fun" is. But it's okay. If it makes her feel better making me feel like shit, I'm fine. Or maybe greed took over, when I started talking about business, making money and being a successful person in Life. When I started paying for almost everything.

Sometimes, simplicity is happiness. But we are blinded by greed and demand even more from what we have in Life. And sometimes when we're lonely and depressed, we seek companionship..and eventually, when we have more friends we tend to forget who was there for us in the first place. I made that mistake once and it's not going to happen again. That's why I wanted to be good. To be a better person than who I was.

I should have been reminded that Money was hard to earn, I work my ass off 8am-4am. Working and making an extra income from trading, cracking my brains to the point of neural degradation just to make the extra cash. It's always a battle everyday, being fatigued all the time and not able to think straight when there's a caffeine crash. My day job pay is good I admit. But I always want to make more, save it up and eventually use the accumulated amount to invest, create passive income and get the heck out of the rat race. $3,000-$7,000 a month is pretty good for a 21 year old really. Not much for a day-trader, but I have other priorities in Life.

I bother to work to be independent, achieve my financial goals and then focus on my dreams. Not every 21 year old will think of that. And I hate it when high income earners say that things are cheap, you obviously got blinded by Money and never bothered to care about how hard Life is anymore. Look at your age for your own sake, $30 for a meal is cheap when your 25 and above, but not when your 21.

Talk about people whom talk crap about money too, dress up in suits and ties and then insult my style of dressing when it's just a casual meet up. I like my jeans and t-shirt when I go out casually. If we're heading down to somewhere nice, maybe I'll dress-up nicer. Don't tell me to put a suit and tie on when it's supposed to be casual in a coffee-shop or shopping-center! Nevertheless, I'm ok sending you off and let bygones be bygones because I know what it's like to get humiliated when you can't walk the talk.

When you expect so much, but don't get it. Either you lower your expectations or raise your level of performance as a person to achieve it.

But enough about Money and pride, the world will be better off without it.

Nothing could compare to Love. And when we Love we do so unconditionally. I lived. I laughed. I loved. I learned.

I'll do my best, to be better than who I was. Stay to my values and eventually, be successful.

I deserve better than this. I'm not a pet leashed on a chain. No more. I should be proud of my own achievements in Life. No, I won't be brought down, I won't give up. I will never ever stop on my own road to success.

I AM IVAN SEE.

A PERSON, A MAN AND A HUMAN BEING.

I AM WHO I AM AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE BETTER THAN WHO I AM.

Life is short though, so maybe it's time to get "that" car, re-design my wardrobe, dye my hair black, go for facial, massage and reflexology. Go for fine-dining and spend $2,000 on a single meal, puff a cigar, smoke a cigarette, get a tatoo, work out harder in the gym, run 10 miles, skydive, bungee jump, jet ski, rent a Yacht and play "I'm on a boat" by LonelyIsland, climb a mountain and scuba dive.

Mind boggling

2011-10-11T20:44:00.000+08:00

$1,000,000

2011-10-10T14:20:00.001+08:00

I know.

2011-10-09T22:27:00.003+08:00

I know. I'm a fool. Seriously, the things people say behind your back hurts.

Too trusting, too naive. But it's okay. I know who I am. Make fun of me now while you still can because in the end, I'm still young and I do admit, there's so much more for me to explore, the older I am the more value I have as a person and a Man.

I know one day I'll find the right one.

I did grow up. I did mature.

Life as an Adult.

2011-10-04T14:54:00.009+08:00

I've been through so much. So much of hurt, pain, pleasure, growth and learning. I thought I was good, that I could handle myself in this self-centered World of Money, sex and drugs.

I thought that God would show me and guide me to the right path in Life. I really hope I am going along with his intended plan.

I see my Mum at work everyday, but she never had the time to connect to me as a Mother, not a boss. She's an awesome Financial controller / Chief Operating Officer. I do my best to make her proud. And I hope that she can see that. My dad, he's always on and off at home. I guess he likes to have more of his own Life and privacy more now when he hit the "wall". I do hope that he will retire and start doing what he was passionate about in the first place. Travelling and helping people, missionary trips and stuff like that. My sister? As usual. She hasn't changed but I do pray that she'll be a better person and eventually find the right one, settle down and all. Gosh my family's awesome.

I'm relying on myself again, to hold myself steady. I can't back down, I can't stop believing in what I believe in. I can't stop working to get what I want in Life. I need to move more and work harder to achieve my dreams, and finally..discover more of the World, invest in Science, technology and people to make the World a better place.

I failed in starting a business twice, but now I know what to do and learned from my mistakes. I know I have a good business plan, and hearing it that it'll be a success makes me happy!

I really hope I can find the right partners and not get betrayed again. That's why I'm really careful now to think twice and "analyse" -not judge mind you. If there's chemistry and trust before I dive in.

I know I'm not as sharp-witted as I was, nor do have the mental capabilities of a fresh student's mind 3 years back, when studying seemed easy. When Life was all about Fun! Ahh..the good times. I never cared and I was bad-ass. But I guess we all grow up from our own immature ways. Even though I know shit loads, I know I can improve and mature myself. That, I'm willing to do. I'll learn from the Education I'm getting and to the best of my abilities, get a 1st Class Honors.

Because we only Live once in Life.

Nevertheless, I'm glad I told the Woman of my dreams that I Loved her!

Even if she doesn't love me back, it's all right. Because I'll be happy when she's successful, married with the Man of her dreams, living life passionately and most importantly, going back to God. And as she moves on with Life I'll be by the sidelines when she needs me..happily smiling! I know it'll hurt of course but I guess it's part of God's plan. It'll take awhile for me to pick up the pieces, but it's okay. I'll learn from it and grow stronger than ever. And if I ever see her again after we're both successful then Heaven knows we might be together.

I learned how to Love. And I'm glad.

I got my heart broken so many times that I thought I would never fall for anyone. But I guess I did. She taught me many things in a month that I could never learn in a year.

The good part of me came out again, and now..I really can see myself in a good way! Confident, not-so-tall but it's all right I guess. I make up for height with actions. I'm always looking up to the World. But it's good to look up instead of looking down! I'm more secure about who I am now as a person, as a Man.

I'm glad there are still friends out there who really care about me. I do feel better being told by hot female friends that I still have what it takes!

I know that there are still many things for me to do in Life. I'm not young anymore. I'm an Adult. But I know that I won't give up. I'll have to stay strong. I'll have to learn. I'll have to grow and mature as an Adult. In this World full of darkness, I know I can believe in myself. And hope for the best.

I'm still alive.

2010-08-01T20:07:00.004+08:00

It's been so long...

I don't even believe that this blog still exists. I kinda remembered it incidentally as I was reflecting on the years that passed by. Officially, I can say that it's been like a year since my last post. Nevertheless, it feels like a decade. Well, time may be measured, but the feelings that goes along with time adds on to it.

Only 5 days ago I escaped death, from the verge of the unknown back to planet Earth. I was so close to giving up everything I had, treasured and loved. I will never achieve my dreams, marry the Woman that I will eventually love and have kids. I learned so many things from one single experience, to appreciate..everything, no matter bad or good. Because whatever happens to you now, will reflect on the future.

I think your actions are like a ripple in the ocean, whatever you do will affect someone else in another way, and whatever that particular person does will affect another person in another way. It's like, when I'm angry and I shouted at someone else, that someone else gets angry as well, eventually he/she will not be able to hold the emotions held within and unleash a fury of anger waves at the unfortunate victim. That victim will be affected and the cycle continues. Well, thats the way it is I guess.

I'm pretty much delighted to be alive. However, this has it's own after effects. I'm thinking,"WHY THE HECK AM I STILL HERE?". And really, what are the things to come after death. Could there really be a light? Or will it just be you, surrounded in a sea of darkness..and it just ends. There and then, your existence..removed from the Universe. It could be a possibility, however some say your consciousness or spiritual body will escape, and it will travel through the bends of time and space, to a place far beyond the reaches of Men, or aliens likewise. But to be honest, no one knows..and what we have to do is to have Faith. Faith that we'll still be alive when we physically die..that we will be saved by God's grace and be glorified in the kingdom of Heaven. Well, my Faith is being questioned right now. I'm sure as hell confused..but I hope to believe that I'll go there, when the time comes again. Hopefully by then I'll be a delighted old Man, whom did many things to make the World a better place for everyone, a peaceful place.

Life goes on for me, there are so many things to do, critically important things like studying for my degree, working hard to achieve my own dreams, dating the girl who I will eventually propose to, taking care of my own parents, making the church grow, working out at the gym to get fitter and the list goes on. There are so many things! Which I have to say, when I look at it all, it's depressing. I don't really know why it's all so depressing, maybe it's because I can't think straight anymore due to the fact that the future is uncertain. Well, for once..I don't know what to do.

It's always a mystery for me, for us all in fact. We can decide on what to do and work on it..eventually you'll get it if you put in the effort to with smarts. And we all start our goals enthusiastically, with all the excitement that we're gonna be rich, that we're gonna get fit, that we're gonna get something done by a limited time frame. Eventually, the excitement fades away, it all becomes a routine, a boring one in fact. Our efforts have all been worn out, and we still have not yet accomplished our goals. So we give up, there's no point anyway, we'll think. Even though, we still have the power to decide whether to pursue it or not..and those that have the very perseverance need to, shall be rewarded. It's like digging for gold in the mine, it's a long way to hit the main stream of gold, sometimes we just dig through to hit the smaller streams of gold, it just keeps us satisfied for a little while, and eventually it won't be enough. That's why it's really important to keep on going when the walk gets tough.

I guess that's what I need the most now, perseverance. To have the strength to go on and finally achieve what I want to have. And it's hard, and undoubtedly impossible. But every great achievement, was once considered impossible. I hope that God will give me the strength to go on. And I hope that my own Faith stays strong in the tough times. In the time of testing, I pray that I will strive. I pray that no matter what..I'll be set on the right path and not be led astray from the temptations that distracts me. I have already given up so much, what's a little more to me to give up?

Unexpectedly, the song playing now contradicts everything..I guess it's a wonderful world after all. And despite all the negativity, I guess my resolve gets stronger each passing day. Nevertheless I really do hope that the future is bright. Peace to everyone else out there.

It's been so long.

2009-08-23T04:09:00.008+08:00

It's really been long since I posted on this old rotted blog. So much has changed since the last time I posted. Well, the World has changed, and so did I. Coming back from the loud music, booze and pretty girls all around me to a place of solitude like my home really made me think.

Am I wasting too much money just to have some "fun"?

What the heck am I doing in such a place anyway? Oh yeah, to get a girl?

Why the f*** am I drinking so much? To get drunk? Nah, to get rid of all anxiety I have when I talk to people, especially girls.

F***, I'm just wasting my time here..it's time I get back home.

And I did wasted my time, which I could have worked out for 2 hours straight, achieve my goal finally to get that rock-solid 6 pack and 7% bodyfat.

Or I could have done financial reading, get back in touch with the financial world and pick good stocks for my mum.

And I realized one thing, when something becomes a "must" for you, you would do whatever it takes to achieve it. I'm gonna be really honest, after someone didn't really like me much I was really upset, and damn I was depressed. So much. What I did was that I would go out to the clubbing scene, talk to girls that I don't even know, man..and even try all sorts of pick up lines just to see what works. And even talk to female assistants in the store, damn...how f***king silly of me to get swayed by one girl. Well..Love is blind.

Eventually I found someone else, but it was only for a short while and boom, she's gone. Back to Japan and never again to see her. In the end, I'm all alone again. We all are actually, just that we don't really like to admit that and then we surround ourselves with people with don't know just to feel better. That finally, you have company..and you feel good because someone loves you. You feel validated and approved.

What comes next is another shocking experience, a break-up,an unfortunate event or she leaves you for another guy. Which is of course 10x richer, good looking and more talented than you are. You know, the tall, dark, handsome guy we all know which is Mr. Popular. Same goes for the opposite sex.

So what the f*** am I supposed to do? I don't have looks, I'm short, I'm just average. I got to compensate, that's why I'm a f***ing big mouth I guess. LOL. And I got to work harder and smarter just to achieve my own goals, well short people, it's time to get used to the lifestyle of doing more than expected just to get noticed.

And all the hard work I put into myeself, my studies, my personal skills and all that shit. But it's not good enough.

Again the eagerness and the desire to succeed sprung out from the depts of satisfaction, this isn't good enough..yes I can really pick good stocks and know which is going to go up once I started to do research. Yes I can play really well in the guitar now and sing 2 octaves thanks to daily effort placed into training for a year. Yes my 2.4km run was once 9mins and 42 secs and my 10km run was 35mins 23 secs thanks to f***king hard effort that fractured both shins.

But all of these isn't good enough, I know I really improved so much. So much more than who I was before, a bump to an achiever. But damn, it's not good enough..I still need to keep on improving myself, and most importantly be positive..I realized I'm fucking negative most of the time now thanks to the environment I work in, but the only one at fault is really me. I did not keep track of my goals, I did not set goals since the time I entered camp. I lost track, I lost my purpose, my desire to succeed.

But damn, it's back.

Shift work may be tough and inflexible, but as long as time management is maintained I believe I can achieve my own goals now, and damn I gotta be self-disciplined. There's a lot of sacrifices I'll have to make, friends may not be friends anymore. But in the end, when you succeed you'll have all the time to catch up, to spend some quality time with a friend..and maybe even by then I'll be attatched again. Damn I'm crazy. But yeah, doing what it takes to reach the top. I'm willing. I guess I'll be posting regularly now for the sake of reflection and since a certain phycologist says so that it keeps me sane.

So let's do this shit! It's my life, it's now or never.

It

2009-08-23T04:04:00.001+08:00

Bodybuilding side effects and Money.

2008-09-06T00:48:00.017+08:00

It's been awhile since I posted.
Well today I'll want to post the side effects of gaining mass.

Not long ago I realized my own testosterone levels are increasing, not slowly mind you, but rapidly..seriously everytime when someone looks at me in the face. I'll look right back and if he/she doesn't look back I won't look back till the person looks away. I get really aggressive at times and I just wanna beat the shit outta somebody for the slightest mistake or compliments which I take for insults. Don't just bash shit at my fucking face, your talking to the Man!

Other than these negative effects, I feel much more confident overall. Full of energy most of the times and always up for a challenge. When some fool tries to outwit me, I'll smash his fucking words right back at his face and break him. I walk with confidence and sometimes I get a little too dominant. Like out talking a Multi-Level Marketer who tried to persuade me to invest $150 for a bar of Emuroa not long ago (which they claim I could earn up to $30k a month!), I don't give a damn about shit like these if you ain't got the credidentials. Besides what if I apply this shit to my face and my face gets better? Who knows what I'll become, I don't wanna end up a fucked-up vampire like "I am Legend".

Right now my legs (butt included) and abs still hurt like a motherfucker. But I don't gave a damn, I'm on my way to a 6 pack, nice pecs and a sexy butt. Anyone who stops me, fuck! I'll kill you damnit! Now I know I don't need steroids, I could only imagine what a monster I'll become if I took the magic pill.

Recently I realized my own problem now, I'm getting a little arrogant and egoistical. Although I do have the confidence right now in conversations I usually dominate, my listening skills are shitty and I ain't interested to hear someone's life story. I do need some patience.
However somehow I like my newfound confidence, I feel like The HULK! And I'm getting much more intellectual too somehow. I'm more concerned about Money, Studies, Spirituality, Passions and my Purpose. So what if clubbing gives you happiness? Fuck, it's only instant gratification. You get to grind a girl, get her number, etc. And that's it really, nothing fun or new about it now except the new bisexual sub-culture. Drinking? It's full of calories and an ab destroyer, nobody wants that big bouncy beer belly now would they? Games? What the fuck could playing games do? Sure you get to own the shit outta noobs or even professional gamers, which I myself being an avid gamer feel so fricking good by calling the pros noobs. I outsmarted a whole team of pros when my team were just made out of casual gamers. But beyond that games that just makes you feel good for a short while.

Money. Money is everything to me now (or at least when I get the skills to generate a passive income/incomes and being a millionaire). I suddenly find myself reading and enjoying Adam Khoo's books. It's seriously interesting to read and most of all, practical. Although I do not have the capital to start investing, I'm learning more about investing and definitely will master the art in a few months time. I realized that having loads of cash does make things a whole lot easier. And I also fully understand the value of money now. It's fricking hard to earn $50, you gotta shift at least 1000 boxes which contains 300 bottles of drinks inside for at least 10 hours. Seriously, Money is not easy to earn, but easy to go. And there's 2 things that we can do about money once we get it.

1. Spend it.
2. Save and invest.

Now how many actually save their money? How many actually bother to spend time thinking and planning their finances? How many of us have specific goals written down? How many actually are committed to be rich? Not much actually, most of us would like to be rich..but we're not committed to simply be rich. See if you would like to be rich, I'd suggest you try the local gaming den or Singapore Pools. But if you are committed to be rich! Congrats! Your once of those 10% that could possibly earn 90% of the rests' income. Right now I'm already saving, and seriously, I saved loads. A heck load till it'll require a sack if you'd ask me. And what I'm gonna do with the money once I get enough? I'm gonna learn more about saving, banking and investing..once I get it and learn the fundamentals. I'll definitely invest. We gotta invest time in ourselves.

I gave up drinking, clubbing, and other unimportant activities that I don't really need now. I cut back on my spending and started taking the MRT and bus. You see, I'd rather SUFFER now. Unlike the rest who'd want to ENJOY now, I'd rather suffer. Coz' in the end, I'll be the one who's enjoying. So call me a nerd now damn it. In fact, we need to plan our future. Where do you see yourself at 10 years time? I hope it's bright.

Your never gonna be successful if you leave Life to fate, your never gonna make it if you don't commit into investing yourself. Your never gonna be rich by being financially stupid. So why not start now? Learn! That's what I'm doing, I'm constantly managing my budget, planning my own goals for this month and reading, researching more and more about the Money game. I'm even thinking of ideas, my intellectual asset that could generate millions of dollars! It's all possible!

I realized it's a whole new level of game now. With a whole new level of players. This time, it ain't no small players. We're playing the real game. And it's time to get real people. It's time.

More than ever, better than never.

2008-08-10T01:26:00.010+08:00

Through out the past month, I discovered what I really wanted to do with my Life. I made my own long term goals, I accepted that death is inevitable and the only thing to do is to get the most out of my Life while I'm still alive. And when I'm on my deathbed, I know that I fought the good fight..got the most out of what Life has given me and carried on my own legacy.

While the Life after Death is still questionable and uncertain, I can only know that beyond the boundaries of Death lies Life. I have come to believe that no scientific equation can justify the meaning of Life, that the Universe works in mysterious ways. My only conclusion is that we will never define reality and find out the truth behind all things. We will never know what matter is made up of, how the particles and wavelengths of the energy of atoms appear and disappear. We will never know the unknown unless we go to the unknown, and make it known. But will we be able to come back afterwards? Or do we just lie in asylum? Never wanting to come back for the next stage of Life goes on.

Again the meaning of Life has embezzled many philosophers, theologians, scientists and mathematicians..which in their own context, tries to define the meaning of Life.

Well I guess that it was a heck of an adventure, finding out my own purpose here..and at least some part of the mysteries of Life. I'm an adventurer, a person who dives in to what is dangerous and unknown..to discover more about the unknown worlds (space, galaxies, the Universe), find new methods to create a powerhouse which generates electricity out of nothing, or simply revealing interesting facts about the past in the elusive obvious. Finding things that can benefit in the long term or short. Humanitarian-like I guess.

So basically speaking, I'm in the field of researching, inventing and exploring. These however, requires huge amounts of wealth to invest in. So it's gonna be quite challenging..which again, having a huge amount of wealth is one of my long term goals. So is achieving a high and respectable position in the World.

With all of these being said, I finally know what I gotta do..what I really want. Now the big question is how? How am I supposed to acquire such impossible feats? No matter, I'm already having a few ideas of my own. Overall finding the way was easy, going the way is....

That I'll leave it to you, if your positive it'll be really easy, if not...it's gonna be a heck load of hell.
I wish to those reading this, will too eventually find out what they really want to do in their Lives.

My Best Wishes.

-Ivan

2008-07-11T00:40:00.002+08:00

When I Woke Up!

When I finally woke up I took a look around. I saw city halls, courthouses, houses of government, churches, schools, and universities by the hundreds and thousands. I saw systems systems for managing the land, the air, and the water; systems for managing human behavior; systems for managing religion; systems for managing learning; systems for managing food, shelter, clothing; systems for managing love and procreation: a vast complex of carefully engineered systems. I saw millions of people working, not for themselves, but for someone else. I saw millions of people doing, not what they themselves want to do, but what someone else wants them to do. I saw the depressing evidence of a people who have externalized and institu-tionalized-in fact, have tried to standardize-the very nature of humanity. I saw a whole people who have lost the way of life and in its place have built a technological monster which does most of their hard work, carries their water, delivers their food, raises their kids, makes their decisions, says their prayers, transports them, informs them, entertains them, and controls the people it serves, absolutely. I also saw that the monster, seemingly unable to manage itself, was running wild, totally out of visible control, ripping the land to pieces, spreading poisons, filling the air with filth, dumping garbage and shit in the rivers and lakes and oceans. I saw all that, and I saw the people, millions of them, crowded together in cities, living side by side in towns, villages, rural areas. But I didn't see a single community. Is someone doing all of this on purpose ?

http://www.wordsculptor.net/web/previous/simple/Frame_main.html

Vacation. A break finally.

2008-07-09T21:41:00.012+08:00

It's a whole week worth of Holidays for me!
It's great to have some personal time at last.
Well, I can finally read a book, hog on the PC, play the guitar and learn new tricks, improve my singing range by 2 notes higher, and do all the sorts of things I'll want to do for this week.

Today is Wednesday, and whoa I'm feeling great. I'm right here in my little cozy room, relaxing on my sleek inclined chair and enjoying the groove of jazz as I type. Well, it's great to finally feel so relaxed again after a whole intense school term. Not to say the feverish feeling of studying is gone, it's still here..but I'm good. : )

So let's talk about style today, I just realized I need more dress shirts, and I need to reorganize my whole wardrobe. I want to dress for success, so I'll have to look like a winner. You look good, you feel good. You feel good, you look good. You are good.

All my previous suits and shirts are a little too big for me now and I would not want to make the same mistake of walking around town with baggy shirts. It looks weird when I wear my old clothes..it's like they don't represent me anymore. No longer the wannabe boy I guess. It's meant to be now.

Eventually we all grow up yea. Oh I could laugh at myself for all the silly things I did, heheh but it's cool, enjoying my late teenage years by doing stuff that only 18 and above could do, now that the time is here, it's really no big deal anymore.

Anyways I'm getting older, well actually I do feel like a old fag now. When I was Young I wanted to be Old, and now when I'm Old I want to be Young. Kinda ironic. When your Young you get all the freedom you want, we were born free. Only to be enslaved by the Economical World. But you gotta look at the bigger picture too, it's nobody fault. It's kinda like the survival of the fittest. Natural selection mate, you laze you lose.

We gotta stay competitive, get to the top of the game. Even if we can't..which is impossible unless your full of negative shit..we can be the best we can be.
Stop wasting time playing video games and shit, it's cool if you wanna relax. But rational people would not want to live in the Virtual World.
If you've been clubbing almost every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday..time to take a look at your time management..I mean it's all right to club once a week or so, but almost everyday?! Damn..
We all want to have fun. But won't you be bored of it doing the same thing all the time?

In my opinion people should take a serious look at themselves.

Fat and wanna lose the weight? It's time you start exercising some self-discipline and control over your own Life. Food is just energy. We eat so we can live and get the energy needed to handle our daily lives. Start working out, find out your basic metabolic rate, like maybe your body just need 2200 kcal a day, so if you wanna lose about a kg in a month you gotta cut just 200kcals a day. Thats just about 1/10 of your daily portions! See it's not really that hard, combine this with adequate sleep and exercise..you'll look fine in just 4 months!
Remember you got to have both cardio and resistant weight training exercises. Females are afraid as they think they would 'bulk up', as long as their caloric intake is in the correct range it's cool. As I've seen very feminine and lean gals doing deadlifts and squats in the gym!

Yet, it's really up to people to choose. Well these are just my thoughts anyways.

To end I'll say that it's time to take responsibility for your own Lives people.

I'm not as crazy as you think.

2008-07-07T23:16:00.003+08:00

If you guys think how insane my definition of what the Universe is, our purpose here, etc..it's obvious you haven't seen the worst! This guy is insane, I have no idea...or rather, I have no clue that such possibilities exists. Well who knows? Eventually 200 years from now Space travel would be possible, maybe we'll find a beacon of technology left in the ancient ruins of Mars if we do organize an expedition.
The potential is limitless! The possibilities are endless! In just a century technology has advanced so rapidly! Well anyways, do take a look at this vid:

The 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock

Flashbacks.

2008-06-27T02:57:00.012+08:00

A year ago, I did not really give a damn about my education. It was all about clubbing, fun, music, games and girls (at my own discretion). I had a load of fun doing things that only Adults could do. Everything about it was just to prove myself, that I got a Life and I ain't no loser. I had my own fair of self-esteem issues, childish acts and unthinkable dramas...but right now I couldn't really give a damn about people, clubbing, dating and all that shit. Right now, I don't give a damn about how fucking hot you are, how much money you have or how many friends you have. I'm not interested in external factors no longer. Although I do admit I have certain standards, but still, personality and traits count more. A real lady who knows what she wants.

So to say, I've been through a lot. Life has taught me about so many things at a young age. You wouldn't believe me sitting through a whole day memorizing notes, re-organizing key points and writing up essays with summary pages. I realized it all starts from the inside, you gotta believe in yourself before you take your place in the World. Search within yourself and find out what your desires are and what you really wanna do in this Life. What I mean is actually finding your purpose in Life. Without it you'll just be like the wandering sheep, waiting for someone big to guide you..and who knows? He'll end up guiding you the wrong way, and you'll end up in circles and circles, thinking "What did I do to deserve this?! I always relied on you!". Then he says, "Have Faith". Well, I'd rather have Faith in myself than have Faith to someone who can make big things happen so suddenly and then boom! The World Ends! So what happens after that? What happens after we die?

Some say we'll be in Heaven, some say we'll be in Hell, others say we'll end up nowhere. That this Life is all we have, after we die, that's just it. We die. How would one know anyways? Is religion just a way to see Death in a better light? Why do we believe in ancient texts that could be written by anybody? Why the hell am I here anyway? If God made Men, who made God? Could there be a higher God than God? Or is it all that we believe in just a lie and nothing else.

What is reality, really? Is it what we define it is?
Then why is the World so big? Are we alone? Or are we not?
You see, these are the questions that I would definitely want answered. Yet some may never be solved, as it will always remain a mystery.

Well, I think it's enough about philosophy.
But before I end this post, i just found out something amazing!
That no matter who we are, we are actually all made up of energy! See this is very scientific, but I'll do my best to keep it as simple as I can.
Ok, when we zoom in to our hand what do we see? Lines, fingerprints, dirt, etc.
And when we zoom in again with a microscope what do we see? The cellular structure of the hand.
And when we zoom in again more, what do we see? Molecules!
And these Molecules are made up of atoms!
And atoms are actually made up of energy!
The nucleus! Which is surrounded by ions and protons. The basic structure for energy!

And here comes the question, what happens after that? What is energy made up of? What is matter exactly? Where does it come from? Another inter-dimension? A Multi verse?

Well who knows? The possibilities are endless. Beyond Human understanding. No matter how much quantum physics, science, philosophy, religion or any other matter you throw at it, the answer will never be found.

And I couldn't give a damn actually, if I do I might end up a little crazy.
Anyways, I'm tired as hell and I'm off to sleep now that I got this off my mind.

Three weeks ago.

2008-06-20T15:52:00.003+08:00

Since the last three weeks I have completely stopped most of my online activities.
I stopped my blog, facebook, friendster and all that shit.

I figured living in the virtual world ain't worth a single dime of my time, it's the real world that makes everything worth.

The other reason why I have not blogged since then is because I have started writing on a book.
It's no ordinary book, it's the book which is based on my own identity as a "person living in this world".

I know it sounds corny but eventually we all will wonder who the heck we really are.
So that's it, the moment I started writing on the book was the moment Life changed dramatically.
And damn, did I mention that looking into my own traits, weaknesses and strengths..I'm one heck of a guy.

So you know, instead of spending too much time on the net, why not just shut down the whole damned thing that takes up too much of your fucking time?

Start writing, start talking, start improving yourself.
Start doing things instead of procrastinating!

Pretty soon I'll be revising again for tomorrow's Marketing exam...I kinda feel like a nerd when I'm studying..but damn, if I truly want to succeed in my own Life. The time is NOW! It's now or never babe~
Studies are really important to me, and I do desire knowledge.

Other than that, I'm thinking of auditioning to join a professional band as a singer-songwriter,vocalist-guitarist. Heck, I can dance and beatbox too. So I'm confident that I'll make it through the auditions, play at functions and pubs..and hopefully earn a few dimes out of my undying hobby.

However my main priorities are still my Studies, getting ready for NS and always improving myself constantly.

More people are getting educated everyday, and there's definitely tons of people whom are about a hundred times better than me. So I'll always have room to improve in all aspects of Life.
And one day, rule The Game.

The CEO of a company, the CEO of the World (for a while)...and most importantly, the CEO of my Life.

What I would love to do.

2008-05-30T00:16:00.005+08:00

Sometimes there's really this strong desire inside of me to move out from Singapore.
I do agree that Singapore is really quite a good place to settle down in the future, however I'm still quite young and settling down for me is a long way ahead. So with that said here's what I really would love to do.

I wanna move to the UK for awhile, I wanna be alone by myself in a country that I don't know...and once I'm there I'll be able to find out more about the way things work out over there. You know I'll find a job as a part-time store assistant, rent a room, earn some money here and there..and once I get the money I'll enroll into the University of London, well..that's where everything else change.
Then and there you can imagine me as the homeboy Barista who'll serve you a hot cup of Cappuccino as you go your way to the office, you, me...serving the endless crowd as the World goes on...
Then I'll be attending class in the Mid-morning right after my express shift, I'll change into my casual wear, reach class on time and just chill out with some class mates before the lecture starts..we'll be discussing our current assignments, talking about where we'll be going/doing once we're done with this Degree or even talking about the hot nerdy lass with the golden blonde hair whom sits next/behind to us. Then we'll be talking about who's gonna talk to her, bring her home and bang the heck outta her. Which obviously, none of us would have the courage to say,"Wassup!?" to the girl-next door. Which by then Mr. Bean would start the lecture about, "Home, a place where we belong."
So after the whole lecture I'll be going back to my Hostel to do the usual clean-me-room stuff. And suddenly! The hot nerdy lass with the golden blonde hair walked by, my heart skipped a beat and in a flash of light I had thought of the most brilliant pick up line.

"Hey, wassup!?" I said in excitement.
"Heey there, well aren't you the coffee-guy who attends class the same as me?" She said.
"Well...I'm the guy who attends the same class as you...but I have no idea how you got to know me as the Coffee-guy", I exclaimed.
"Don't you remember? You served me coffee this morning! Well where are you heading by the way?" she appalled.
"I'm heading south of here, gonna get back to my room and prepare for my workout." I said.
"That's really a coincidence, I'm heading south too..back to the dormitories.."she said
"If that's the case ,well why not we walk there together then? I could use some company", I said.
"Perfect!" she said.

Halfway through the journey...,"Hehe..so I presume your really not from China?" she joked.
"No I'm not from China, *British Accent* you insolent fool~hahaha...I'm from Singapore, and they say Chinese Baristas don't make "real" coffee...but-"
"But?" she winked.
"It's all assumed, because they have never tried a real cup of coffee from a Singaporean Barista," I said.
"Well...since your here now...you could make me a hot cup of Coffee, Irish Coffee. I got the Scotch whiskey for it..and you could learn how to teach it to me at my kitchen dorm.." she said.
"Perfect! Café Irlandés~" I said.

Well you might know what will happen after that...eventually she,me would get together and have a heck of an adventure.
Now, it's time to get back to the real world. So that's basically something I'd love to live.
Heheh! ;)

Squeak Preper En-gish

2008-05-28T15:43:00.003+08:00

It appears the "Speak Proper English" movement has not been successful. Insead, its have been bakfired. We luv to squeak En-gish, Hua Yi annd Swinglish.

Now don't blame me for trying to speak proper English, why should I of all people speak proper English? Becoz I habb no ieda.

In my opinion our society, education and culture are to blame (we are by right ,"forced", to learn, speak and write English-look up about Singapore's history and the rising power of the West that influences "us") . Actually, we all should be learning to speak proper Chinese insead, why follow the West when the East is rising? Maybe in a few years time, Asia would be united and form a new Superpower for the West to follow.. Heh..just a thought rawrlly..

Before we start...I would like to say..

2008-05-19T22:39:00.009+08:00

There's nothing better right now than a...
Ice cold beer. :)

And with this I would like to have a toast,
A toast of sincerity,
A toast of new beginnings,
A toast from the king of beers!

To the ones who is currently reading this post!
To the ones whom are married!
To the ones that loves Music, Peace and Love.

Cheers~ *Ting*

Hahahahahahahaho!

My 1 week break is over, and school's starting tomorrow. However, it isn't enough for me to have all the fun I want. Damn, and bloody hell I ain't even got enough time for myself. That's because of the bloody Medical checkup that took all freaking day. Well, they put in PES B however..that's good enough for me. Actually I could have gotten a PES A grade, my whole overall grading for blood pressure, eyesight, dental, physical, hearing and heart rate is fucking PES A. And why did the doctor put me to PES B? Well it's because I had childhood asthma and previous injuries (e.g. my forearm). I could blame the Family's medical background too, however it doesn't make any difference I guess...PES A and B is probably the same.

I'm not so sure when I am to enlist, the time I went to apply for my deferment they showed me I was planned to be in December's batch, that it was also a plan only and may see fit to change. Well I certainly hope they don't because the sooner I finish this the better. However it's cool too if they decide to put me in next year's April batch, I'll have more time then to prepare for IPPT. Heh anyways it doesn't matter, I'm cool with it.

So back to the subject of school, I'll be learning a new module called Economics and also the continuation of Business Management, which is stated as PBM (II). Well I ain't gonna be stressed out when the exam is near, like how I did it for the last exam I revised everyday the week before it. This time however I'll be revising everyday 7 days a week, a chapter each day for the lecture before. I guess it's all based on consistency now, so bring it on! Like my workouts, it not really how hard you do the reps (wrong posture, wrong muscle used, no isolation)..it's how smart you do it (right posture, isolation of muscle, visualization, confusion).

Right now all I'm focusing on is of only 3 things, my studies, workouts and music/dance. Occasionally I'll play Call of Duty 4 with some mates. And occasionally I'll go out, let loose and have fun. You know what I mean right? :)

(That's my second beer)

With that being said, I'm tired out from today's challenges.
It's off to a warm and relaxing shower, and then bed. Drink smart, drink right and Goodnight!

Not worth it

2008-05-19T19:26:00.002+08:00

Here's some old lyrics that I wrote kinda long ago, well so here it is. Enjoy! (You can actually hear the first few lines at my voice mail, heheh.)

Not worth it

I walked in the rain
To feel what it'll be like
When it's all over, Nothing hurts more than that
This feeling, don't know why it feels like that
nothing feels worst than that (I just can't stand it the way it is)

So when I raise out your hand,
So when I fall back to being friends with me
you won't be there, coz it's not worth it gal

And you'll never bother to heal the wounds
and you'll never see me again
coz it's not worth it gal, coz it's not worth it gal.

I walked in the sun,
To feel what it'll be like
When it's all starting new, nothing feels better than that
This feeling, don't know why it feels like that
I just love it the way it is

So when you raise out your hand,
So when you fall back to being friends with me
I won't be there, coz it's not worth it gal.

And I'll never bother to heal the wounds,
And I'll never see you again
Coz it's not worth it gal, coz it's not worth it gal.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

2008-05-16T00:31:00.002+08:00

Hey hey hey wassup ladies and gentlemen? Time does fly after a 1 week break, school's gonna start next Tuesday but it's cool, I ain't worrying about it..medical checkup is tomorrow but it's cool too, coz I ain't worrying about it. Why? I'm happy. And with that being said, here's a song dedicated to all you folks out there. Hope it cheers you up! :)

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Here is a little song I wrote
You might want to sing it note for note
Don't worry be happy
In every life we have some trouble
When you worry you make it double
Don't worry, be happy......

Ain't got no place to lay your head
Somebody came and took your bed
Don't worry, be happy
The land lord say your rent is late
He may have to litigate
Don't worry, be happy
Lood at me I am happy
Don't worry, be happy
Here I give you my phone number
When you worry call me
I make you happy
Don't worry, be happy
Ain't got no cash, ain't got no style
Ain't got not girl to make you smile
But don't worry be happy
Cause when you worry
Your face will frown
And that will bring everybody down
So don't worry, be happy (now).....

There is this little song I wrote
I hope you learn it note for note
Like good little children
Don't worry, be happy
Listen to what I say
In your life expect some trouble
But when you worry
You make it double
Don't worry, be happy......
Don't worry don't do it, be happy
Put a smile on your face
Don't bring everybody down like this
Don't worry, it will soon past
Whatever it is
Don't worry, be happy

Cavatina

2008-05-12T00:19:00.006+08:00

Sometimes I've been wondering about why I became the person I am now. Well, it's really personal.

When I was young, I wasn't really quite a good guy to like. I was a crazy child with an attitude, you know I thought that everything would change when I go to GOD. However, everything still remained the same. Nothing worked out and life was shit still. I was always lonely most of the time, and due to my low intelligence and lousy grades..I was a social outcast. No one would acknowledge me for who I am..besides, my social skills were shitty and my language skills being unusual. Primary school was a fucked-up load of shit.

The teachers hated me for being disrespectful, I still remembered one primary school teacher who gave me hell for 4 years...she would use the whole class (by force) to go against me..e.g.,"Whatever Ivan did was wrong Class, please do not get tricked by him because Ivan is an atrocious boy". Damn! Could you feel the pressure on that? Being rejected for acceptance and marked for discrimination.

Hell, just because I'm "different" doesn't mean that I can't be loved. Where's the democracy in a primary school of a country that speaks it? Too bad I was a dumb assed kid who couldn't think properly then, my mind wasn't developed enough and ready for primary school at all. Maybe because I'm of a late bloomer, a factor in the genes. Because people's brains develop at different stages of life, no child is the same as the other a certain time, that fat-dumb kid you knew back then could be now a smart, charming Casanova. ;-)

That was one of the reasons back then, Family was a problem too. Mum didn't knew how to raise kids, sis and I were raised to believe in, "Forgiving". We went to Church, thinking that it was "good" for us. However, back then due to immaturity we were made fun of. Sis was made fun of her size, I was made fun of being weak. Mum wasn't that of a good parent. She's mostly busy with her work and Dad's busy too..so the Maid would take care of us..well there were 2 good maids early on, however everything changed when the other maids badly influenced me. One of them dropped me on my fucking head. I just fucking landed to the fall hard on the head, it's a fucking miracle I survived. Thank God! No..thank myself for taking loads of calcium back then to have a fucking hard head.

Other than that, I didn't get much attention from my parents either. I would do really bad things like skipping school, running away from home, and eventually mixing around with "bad" company. The outcome is always the same though, caning. Saying that I needed to be discipline for my misbehavior. Well, kids do communicate in different ways yeah?

So I really grew up from a bad childhood, although there are certain good times...like the time we went to Genting Highlands! I could still remember my sister waking me up in the hotel room, saying that she touched the cloud and that I should touch it as well..but by the time I decided to see it for myself the cloud's gone. Hahah, really had a fun time there now when looking back to it.

Other than that, I would like to say that I am not an atheist. I do believe that there is a greater power out there, however no matter how great you believe the Power is or how great it could save you from the depths of hell, give you redemption, enlightenment or a paradise...the thing is, you should never rely on that Power. (I stress the word, "Should", as it is a suggestion, not a forced action.) Because what I really believe in is that true Power starts from the inside, it's by your own actions that determines your future..not some Apocalypstical Deity.

Sorry to be mean, but it's really true. If you don't believe me why not try it for yourself? Sit in a corner and pray and pray for 30 days, if something miraculous happens then good for you! If not it you can continue to sit in that corner and cry like Susie. Again, I mean to offense to any of you who have your own set of beliefs and practices...please do read the disclaimer. Besides, we're free men right? Set to believe what he or she desires in the World ruled by democracy.

Well, I won't say anymore about religion due to the sensitive nature that people display to this subject which challenges their own Faith and beliefs..and I also do not want to attract unwanted attention from the media.

I guess it's back to how I'm doing these days, I went out with Eugene and Sarah not long ago and damn, we had a heck of a time in Arab street..the food was great and just chilling out turned out to be cool after all. We went to the LAN shop afterwards to play Battlefield 2 and Counterstrike, now that I have mentioned it..I really do miss the old days where a few friends would gather and just have a game of CS with each other, the ol' screening trick and curses flying around everywhere..also the opportunity given to sabotage the guy next to you by interrupting him with tickles. LOL. Well having a game of CS or First-person-shooter here and there with a few friends is cool once in a while, just don't let a game become your personal heroin..and you'll be fine.

There's also a strong desire of me to feel Love again, and what I mean is real, unconditional Love. Because all these time I've been feeling Lust...oh, strong desires of uncontrollable passionate Lust. ;)
Maybe I should consider settling down with the right Woman, personality's really important to me now, I'm sick of Ho's and dumb fucks. I ain't want a gold-digger as well, you know what I really want? Someone who Loves me not for Money, Looks or Power..but just someone who Loves me for who I am. It's rare to find these type nowadays because of the World being so materialistic..and when you find a rare jewel, you gotta keep em.

With all that being said, I do hope you have enjoyed this mature post which I really wrote out with my heart. Give me some respect, coz' you wouldn't laugh someone who took their whole ego away to write something like this. Would you?

Exams.

2008-05-04T22:33:00.004+08:00

Welcome!

To be honest, I really wished I had more time to study..at least about a week more...coz' I really didn't study everything in the book. I only studied the 8 topics which I'm good at out of 11. And WTF! The exam's tomorrow!

Still that makes me like the rest, 5 topics for Set A, 3 topics for Set B. But it's all right, I know for this whole month I really haven't been studying constantly. Okay I did study about 4 times a week but hey, the top geniuses study at least 6 hours a day! So right now it's not really possible for me to Ace it anymore...it's like the odds are against me. About 5:1 damn it. Well..what's done cannot be undone, however I still have the Power to do my very best for it. Hell, who knows? I may get an A for Organizational Behaviour.

Business Accounting? The very best it's a B, coz' I'm not really good with numbers...it's in my genes..it's a Heredity factor in my personality. :p
Well I'm happy as long as I pass Business Accounting and Finance.

Besides my studies, everything else is working out great.
My right forearm is almost fully recovered! After a month of avoiding the barbell I can finally pump heavy iron again. It's gonna be hardcore, however I'm not taking any risks of fracturing another arm so it's gonna be as safe as possible, the right form, movements, diet and most importantly rest. I realized I had only 1 rest day out of the week, so I'm gonna have at least 3 rest days that alternates with my workout days.
With that being said I'm almost ready for my medical checkup on 16th may. I do hope they put me in Pes A..but I'm either way cool with Pes B. Just as long I ain't some fucked up clerk who doesn't get to shoot a damned gun I'm happy.

Well I had fun last Friday with the gals. We went to Vivo to catch a movie and took loads of pics, hahah Sentosa was a heck of a ride too. We took the chair lift and lol, the 2 of em just kept screaming. Anyways here's some pictures from last Friday and stuff. :)

The Beautiful Ladies:

Pose #1:

Pose #2:

Shot taken from the Monorail:

The Chairlift:

My Biceps, lol. :

View from the living room:

Just for laughs.

2008-05-04T02:31:00.003+08:00

Moving on, once again.

2008-05-03T00:28:00.003+08:00

Sometimes we never know what it's like to fail..after so many successes. The word failure never slips into my mind, and soon...I realized that I was taken over again by my own ego.
It's really hard for me to admit, that I failed something that I really worked (studied) hard for..no I'm not a nerd, no I'm not a geek or anything..but I really valued what I was given and did my best. However I failed, but now I realized that maybe there's really a lesson to learn from failing. That it's not really that bad, there's always a second chance for me in this.
With that being said, I shall try again to get it right.

Overall, Life's pretty good. I'm living a good life, I'm contented.
You know, being who I am. Always Livin'. Laughing. And Lovin'. :)

I'll be enlisting into NS around December, but damn I'm prepared for it.
I've been training my body vigorously to prepare me for the challenges ahead, and I finally learned how to climb a fence. Lol.
So now I could probably climb anything, trees, lamp posts, fences, and hopefully scale a wall. Hahah I feel like Spiderman now!

Well, that's how I am nowadays. You could put me in the worst of all situations and yet I'll emerge victorious. Nothings gonna stop me from feeling down. I'm the master of my own fate baby! However, it's rather ironic of me to say that. Somehow when you A-line yourself to experience the best of Life, the Universe somehow grants you what you ask for. I don't know if it's a matter of perception, or a metaphysical equation. Whatever it is, it sure feels good to have such amazing experiences.

We all gotta make the best experiences out of our Lives. It's really all we have now, the things we possess are just materialistic..what really counts is the way you treat yourself. As it all starts from the inside. To have inner peace, is enlightenment.
Now I know what Buddha meant...

I guess that's about all I'll be saying for now, I'm off to sleep and exams are on next week Monday and Friday..and after the exams....it's a looonnng vacation for me.

Recovery

2008-03-30T15:59:00.003+08:00

Right now I'm in the recovering stages of my arm injury, the pain doesn't come up anymore..however it still hurts when I'm trying to lift heavy things palms up.

Well, it's really a horror when such minor things could ruin your progress. I could say, "If it wasn't for this I would be much buffer by now!". However thinking in this way ain't gonna help much, instead of whining about it I got to do much more constructive things, I managed to prepare for lectures in advanced, giving me an edge of what I would learn the next day. I also did cardio 3 times this week, trained my chest and abs instead to compensate for my arms.

I was also able to spend some time with my family too, lol and I think I ate too much during yesterday's buffet. But what can I say? It's like $80 per person so heck, let's not waste a 1 time event! I remember I had 3 servings of Chicken, 3 servings of rice, 2 serving of potatoes, 3 servings of cauliflowers, 1 serving of garlic bread, waffle topped with ice cream and strawberry sauce, cookies, cake, half cup of green tea, 4 cups of water..and that should be all of it.
Well I really feel guilty about eating so much, to compensate for it I'm gonna do a 3km jog later on in the evening.

So a new month is beginning, and I just did my new list of goals for next month. Also, I managed to complete all my goals for the previous month!
Well, no matter how hard I work out my body ain't gonna change. I changed my whole routine and instead now I'm gonna work out smart. It's time for me to start concentrating on my lower body, especially my glutes, quadriceps,obliques, lower back and calves. Also I'm gonna start doing muscle definition for my Arms. However I would start to do mass gaining exercises once I'm fully recovered.
Other than that I'll also start to monitor my diet, I realized there's too many junk food around the house, that includes milkshake, pizza, nuts and chips. Well I didn't buy them, excluding the pizza which was a treat for friday. :p
I'm gonna hide all the junk food so nobody eats them, especially my sister and dad.
It's all about health now people! I believe Health is the most important of all out of the 3 (Money, Love, Health).

With that being said, school has started. And seeing all the new people kinda makes it weird for us, heh that doesn't mean I won't be talking to em though. It's best to get to know em earlier on, if we're gonna be together for at least 6 months at least work as a team right? The new guys are kinda shy and stuff, and theres one fucking idiot guy who just keeps on shouting, despite that it's all cool overall.

I'm definitely gonna do well, and hopefully complete both my diploma and advanced diploma before I get into NS. Well, I'll definitely complete my Diploma, but I'm not too sure about my advanced diploma yet..however my true aim is to get at least a second level degree. Like an Hnr. Degree or MBA or something like that, gain some experience in the working world and slowly progress to the top, etc, get successful in my Life.

With that being said, I certainly know where I'm going and the road I'm taking. I wanna be the top of the World. The top 5%. Also, I believe in doing reflection everyday before I go to bed. It keeps me motivated, gives me a reality check and makes me think constructively. Also I'm able to sleep much better and damn, have really good dreams. It feels like I'm just going through Life's challenges like a breeze!

DAMN!

LIFE IS GREAT!

The Pain.

2008-03-25T18:09:00.007+08:00

Right now I'm experiencing a sharp intensifying pain on my right forearm. Well I guess I've been working out my arms a little too hard. The pain didn't show up till last week, when I could easily lift 15 kg barbell curls, 5 sets, Reps of 10,10,8,6,6. So I decided to make it heavier till 20kg and did the same 5 sets and reps and did the rest of the hardcore routine. That's when the pain started, damn..at first I thought it'll be cool, I'll give it 2 days rest and workout my abs/chest for those 2 days. And at my second attempt in using the same weights for my arm workout, holy shit...the moment I did a barbell curl my forearm bone ached like fuck! It felt like my bone's gonna snap.

Well so I stopped training my arms till now and still my right forearm fucking hurts.
I guess my arms are telling me to give em a rest, mainly coz when my muscles get exhausted I rely on willpower. Coz it's really the last set and rep that counts the most, just to gain muscle mass and get stronger. Heh, I guess I'll go easy on em when they recover. For now I ain't gonna workout my arms, but instead concentrate more on Cardio, Chest,Abs and Back muscles. I also realized my legs are kinda getting small in size to my upper body, so I'll throw in some leg workouts too.

All right enough about Muscles and Fitness, I went out with my old classmates today..and damn, we went to Toys R Us, had fun there until there was this fucked up worker( an ex-schoolmate/gangster ) who fucking insulted me. Seriously every cell in my body wanted beat the shit out of this fat ugly fuck, show him who's boss. I really wanted to fucking rip him apart..I was even hoping for him to make a move on me so that I could have an excuse to, "defend", myself. Damn! But as the saying goes, I'm a Lover..not a Fighter. :D

Gangsters ain't shit.
So what if your from some fucking gang? Like I give a shit.
You'll always be such a small fry, taking orders from some crazy-ass motherfucker.
I realized that gangsters have a fucking big ego too, their ego is really their own worst enemy.

I also ain't giving a shit about Martial-Arts now, like what the fuck can martial arts do in street fighting? Sure MMA could help but real fights just ends in about 20-30 secs. It's really the size that matters. Lol talking about this reminds me of small secondary school kids fighting each other over small disputes. Ahh the old times of immaturity...

I don't know how to say this but time flies. As I grew I found out that the World is so much bigger than school. It's like school is a drop of water to the ocean, where life really flows.
I also discovered my own potential to do BIG things. I know, that if I gave everything I got from now..I could earn my first million before the age of 30. I just know, and I believe it too.
But earning my first million isn't my purpose of why I'm here. I'm here to help.
I know it's weird, but I enjoy helping.
Giving a hand to people who can't do it themselves, encouraging them that they can do it too.
Well, I understand it's almost impossible to help everyone in the World. But at least I'm able to do something for a majority. I also understand that right now, I don't have the resources to help. Besides, I gotta get successful first in my own life before I can do anything for them. Like why help others when you can't help yourself? Lol. So it's really all broken into goals.
And these big goals are broken into smaller goals.

These smaller goals are achieved monthly, be it doing reflection everyday before bed, increasing muscle mass, getting comfortable with 3 octaves, jogging 2x a week, spending more time around nature...it all counts to the next step of improving myself and a step closer to the real BIG goals.
Somehow I really feel like a Man of Purpose. And because of this I can really do things with passion, and even willing to go the extra mile to accomplish my tasks. I took responsibility of my own Life.

I choose to succeed.
I know it's possible.
And I can see the many opportunities right in front of me, disguised in a form of what people perceive as Negativity...
I'll succeed in Life.

And when I do, it's time to go back to all my roots and show em, the ones who once looked down upon me, the ones who said, "You'll never succeed", the ones who choose to bring me down in disguise of being "Friends", because they themselves don't want to suffer alone.

Let's do it. I'll be the First of the next Million to succeed in my Generation.
I choose to succeed.
And I will.

Sleep Clock.

2008-03-19T16:03:00.003+08:00

Hey sup' people?

Right now I'm where I am, you know livin' the good life and whipping up new knowledge from many different sources and readjusting my sleep clock. So while I'm doing my best to stay awake of one day without sleep, I'm just doing the things to make me move. Dancing, Singing, Rockin' on my Guitar and singing the crazy song "Twist and Shout" by the Isley Brothers /Beatles.

Damn, I'm actually quite exhausted. I worked out yesterday and my body needs the fricking rest.
But I can't sleep you see, if I do I'll wake up in the middle of the night and my sleep clock will still remain the same. So it's just about 5 hours more for me to last till I get some decent rest and hopefully sleep through the night.
Hell I don't even know what I'm saying, like my whole sentence structure's screwed up due to exhaustion. No matter I gotta stay awake...find something that requires a whole load of physical activity which lasts long (make love? lol jk).

Well, I guess my mind's all blanked out now. I can't even remember what I wanted to post. Lol sorry fellas. I'll figure it out again when I'm rejuvenated.

Later people.

PS: I HATE THE RENOVATION WORK GOING ON NEXT DOOR. I WANNA TAKE A FRICKING CLUB AND BASH THEIR SORRY ASSES FOR RUINING MY SLEEP! @%!%!@$!

LOL!

2008-03-16T05:03:00.002+08:00

Just click play and enjoy!
Don't worry, it loads fast. :)

Online Marketing

2008-03-14T00:24:00.002+08:00

As you can see there's been a change in my blog, and you'll be wondering.."What the heck? Is that scam!?", well no it isn't scam. It's part of my own personal attempt on making money online.

Apparently it didn't turned up well, well just for today I've spent 6 whole hours into online marketing. And guess how much I made? 10 cents! LOL!

Online Marketing requires loads of attention too, it's like a normal job I guess. Like you create different products, sell them online, refer a few people to this certain site and if they sign up you get some cash, become affiliates to expand your networks, clicking on ads to earn $0.01 per click, etc.

Even though I made a measly sum of 10 cents, I guess it's quite a feat for someone who never did it before. Heheh, soon I'll be a Millionaire! Muahaha!

Well enough of Online Marketing for now, let's talk about pumping iron.

So when was the last time you exercised?
Like if it was just 2 hours ago, damn..good for you!
But if it's 2 years ago I really think you should start going for medical checkups.

Exercise is really important in our daily lives, personally I love to exercise.
I love it! It's like part of me now, and I couldn't live a day without an exercise.

Well, I usually pump iron 3 times a week and jog 2 times a week. So that means 5 days of exercise and 2 days of rest. And when my schduel's packed, I'll make time for myself to do some simple exercises, stretching and face exercises. It really lets off the steam.

Don't believe me?

Well go find it out for yourself!

Just try it, hit the gym at least 2x a week if your busy.
Although results may be a little slow, it's steady.
And in the end, your own body may start having small subtle changes.
You won't notice it at first, because we usually pack on about 2.5% of muscle mass per month maximum..but just keep on working out! In a year's time you could look like a Movie Star! :)

With that all being said,
I hope you'd have...
A Nice Day~ ;D

Well now..let's see....

2008-03-07T07:02:00.003+08:00

Hmm...pretty soon in a few(8) months time I'll be going in to the army. Damn if I knew I would have gone to a Polytechnic instead...well, I guess I'm fine with it being this way too.
First of all, graduating with a perfect Diploma is my top priority..
The second being is to get fit for NS, as in jogging 3 times a week 3km each and working out 3 times a week of different parts of the body. Well, I started doing this about a month ago so I'll be pretty ripped by then.

These are the 2 most important things for me now.

Now that's settled, I'd still have time for a few things..with this being in mind heres a list of things that I may be doing.

Learn French.
Play Computer Games!
Learn about stock exchange and investments, banking, mainly money making stuff.
Join Toastmasters to improve my presentations.
Party once a week or two( it's very important to be able to at least have some fun..with the ladies!)
Work to gain some experience in Business Management.

Guess which one I'll be doing first.
Definitely Partying!

However I'll be learning French too, and I'm definitely joining Toastmasters..who knows? I could meet some very powerful people there.

So bearing in mind of this plan, here I go!

The Party and The Party Rant.

2008-03-01T22:51:00.008+08:00

Did somebody say, "PARTY?"

Hell yeah, no party's gonna happen without me.
Damn, it ain't a party if I'm not around. ;)

Dance till you can't stop eh?
Heh, easy.

So let's wrap it up Mr. Dj and get the music on.

Well now, I've been missing loads of parties lately.
But not this one, the Rock-Star's back to show you how to party.

Of course..the party won't be a party without the alcohol and gals.
What? You'd expect a party to be all guys and beer? No fricking way we'd ever dance with each other and be gay..theres no way I'd ever attend a gay party.
Bah what the hell, the last party sucked. Gals dancing with gals? What the fuck is wrong with the world nowadays?
She said,"Sorry no I'm only interested in gals". Holy Shiet.

And what the fuck is wrong with the guys? Getting all horny and shit seeing girls kiss girls, and when he likes her he fucks up by doing all the fake pick-up lines and shit.
Damn, what the fuck is wrong people?!

You don't need a fucking list of pick-up lines. You don't need to get all drunk and horny to even step up to a gal, a gal who's probably fucking loads of guys anyway.

Holy shit! And I thought I was the one who was "old-school" coz I'm an "old" fool who's soo cool~ Lol.

I'm not into that whole girl to girl shit, neither am I interested in making friends with wimps. I'd rather be alone than be friends with a pussified Man.

Shit. What's the purpose of going to a club anyways? Simply to have fun! And what? You go to a club and get all tensed up? Damn man, you gotta let it all go. Go with the flow and feel the groove man.

Hey!
Be a Man!
Do the Right thing!

It's now or never you biatch.

Like someone who told me this long ago..
If you ask a Wimp for advise your gonna get a Wimp's advice.
If you ask a Real Man for advise your gonna get a Real Man's advice.

I ain't no gentle soul like your Mom who'll say it's okay don't cry when you fall down.
I'm gonna fucking tell you to stand up by your own strength and get real.
Make a stand for your own existence as a Man.

Well, now that we got that over and done with.
Let's Party.
Woo~~Chicken Dance!

One Important Question.

2008-02-29T06:23:00.005+08:00

Are You Awake?
If No, stop reading.
If Yes, Why?

What makes you different from the rest?

Let me know.

Take responsibility.

2008-02-28T00:55:00.003+08:00

How many of us always pass the blame to something else when it's actually your own fault.
Well, I did. Hell, I'd even blame the traffic jam for causing me to be late. Sometimes I'd blame the coffee too, and then I would never have to take the blame for being late, or waking up late.

Whatever shit I'd done wrong I would always find an external reason for causing it. Like, "Damn, it's raining now and the background's too fucking loud! How the fuck am I supposed to concentrate?!" Heheh yeah, that's the way I used to go.

Well people, wanna know why we don't wanna blame ourselves for the actions we did? It's our goddamned ego. I'll say it again, it's our EGO. Hell, I have a fucking huge ego. I wouldn't do fucking silly things like the lip-thrill when I'm training my voice, just because others will find out about it...I'll get embarrassed and shit. The point is we can't really blame others for our own faults.

We gotta take Responsibility for our own Lives people. You wanna blame the Devil for making your life miserable? Well there's one thing I can say about it, you deserve it. And you can keep on being the miserable person you are. And I wouldn't give a fuck about your goddamned problems because you can't handle them yourselves. Man, that's why it's really kinda bullshit to me.

We think God would provide for us and shit. And once we place our burdens on God everything will be fine...that when we pray we shall get what we want. Damn, the fucking Religion is stripping your own free will to decide what you want. You can blame everything on the Devil for causing this and still "feel" good about it. Lol.

Some of you may not understand, and may even criticize me for what I'm posting. But damn, you gotta open your eyes and see the truth for yourself.

"Do you make a good slave (servant) of Jesus Christ?", asked the Reverend.
"Yes I do", said Jan

"Good, then Jesus shall guide you" he gleamed.

Words of wisdom from the Reverend himself! Whoa! :O

Religion has stripped us of our own personal free will. It defines the boundaries of what is wrong and what is right. What to do, and what not to do. But, is that really right and wrong, of what to do and what not to do? Is it just a personal perception of a person?

We all are individuals, born free. Enslaved by Religion to be kept at bay, so that we wouldn't revolt against the higher powers in this World which the only choice we have is to accept our fate as what to be, defined by them.

"In the end, what separates a man from a slave? Money? Power? No. A man chooses, a slave obeys."- Andrew Ryan

I could talk about this a whole day long, however I shall stop here to prevent being mocked for my blasphemy by Priests and Pastors alike.

Call for Duty

2008-02-26T04:50:00.003+08:00

Pretty soon in about the end of the year I'll be going to the army, well that's the cost for doing a diploma in MDIS instead of Poly, however it's not a bad thing though.
We learn things faster and damn, it's tough as hell. So don't come here unless your really committed into your studies. Poly usually takes about 2-3 years to complete a diploma, however MDIS takes only 10 months to do so.

Why?

Well, first of all there's no holidays given in MDIS, we don't have term breaks. That kinda cuts out almost a year of Holidays if it's Poly.
The second thing is we have to complete 2 Modules in a single month. Yep, usually a Poly takes 2 months to complete 1 module. So we're really ahead of the poly dudes here.
Also you have to be really consistent with your studies, you must not miss out a single lesson or you will be fricking loads of chapters behind.

It may sound tough as hell, but damn...when you really love what you learn, you learn it easily.
And heck, I just finished the fundamentals of Business Management, which awards me a Professional Certificate and a 1 month break till the Diploma course starts. The 2 last exams were fricking easy. Kinda like a breeze, mainly coz I was consistent in my studies. Well who knows? Lol.

Okay, I am fortunate to be where I am. Basically I had it all planned out, 2 weeks from the end of the O levels I already got myself enrolled into MDIS. First to complete the Professional Certificate level and then the diploma level. After that I got plans to even do a Degree in Business Management here. After that, I'd be going into the working world finally and get my first million dollars before the age of 30.

Well, it's something worth accomplishing. I'm gonna work my way to the top. The highest level.
It doesn't stop there though, I'd wanna help the society too one way or another. You know, donate to charity, invest in environmentally friendly projects, etc. I don't know what I'm gonna really do though, but I'll figure something out since I'm multi-talented.

World Of Real Men

2008-02-26T04:47:00.002+08:00

World of real men

Since the beginning of times man was born to serve his purpose. To hunt, to defend his family, tribe, country and faith. He had to have specific features which enabled him to fulfill his destiny. Each boy from cardle was taught to be strong and brave. When he was old enough he went through his test of manhood. He became a man by killing his first beast, going into battle or undertaking other trial of strength and endurance. Not everyone could claim himself a MAN. It took guts to go into the wild with a spear to face a deadly creature, it took guts to go into a battle, stand in a straight row and not flinch when bullets flew around. If he flinched in the face of danger he was a coward, he was disgraced. Men rather died than stained their honour that way. Those were real men and they were proud of it. For them manhood and honour were the most important virtues in life. It was a world of REAL MEN.

These days everything is much more blurred. Most of us don't face any dangers on a daily basis. We do not hunt, we have police and army to protect our homes and countries. Men do not need to be strong to survive. In today's cosmopolitan, metrosexual world it is easy to get confused and lose touch with what used to be crucial...

Well, let me bring it back. Let me state again what is important, what makes a real man. These virtues are still valid. They restore confidence and selfrespect. They bring back purpose and sense. Here they are:

Real man is brave

A real man is brave. He stands his ground in face of danger. He may be afraid, but that will never stop him. Courage is probably the most important virtue of a real man. Without courage, one will never be able to keep up with other features of a man. It does take courage to be a man at all times. But in the end, as someone said: 'Life is a daring adventure, or nothing'...

Real man is strong

A real man is strong. He does not cry, moan or complain. His will cannot be broken. He will endure everything and come out of it not harmed but hardened. Life may be tough but 'that's life'. Moaning does not change a thing. It only admits that one does not have the will to fight to change it. Fihters do not moan... to much ;)

Real man decides his destiny

A real man knows he's free. He is aware of his freedom and the fact that no one can take it from him, except for himself. He knows that these are his decisions which create his life and he takes full responsibility for whatever he does and whatever the outcomes are. Moreover a real man does not let anyone decide for him. He actively decides what to do with his life. He creates his destiny and fulfills it.

Real man respects other people

A real man respects other people. He knows that we are all equal on this earth, that we all have the same rights. We all deserve to be treated with respect. He is compassionate. Judging others is not his job. He tries to help people whenever he can.

Real man is honest with himself

A real man is a man because he chooses so. He lives by his rules because he belives in them. He does not cheat himself, nor plays tricks on himself to go around his principles. It would deny his manhood. That is what makes him strong. That is what helps him make decisions and stay with them. A man lives by his rules because he decides so.

This is what I think a real man should be like. These are the virtues I will try live by. You may have your own virtues - that is your right and I respect that. There is only one rule - to be a man you have to stay true to them. In the end there are only you, with your conscience. You judge yourself. How much of a man are you in your life. It is only you for whom it really matters. There is no point in pretending anything because you cannot cheat yourself.

extracted from : www.how-to-be-a-real-man.com

How Feminism Destroyed Real Men.

2008-02-26T04:44:00.001+08:00

Women thought the last victory of equality was to make men more 'sensitive'. The bitter irony, says this male writer in a piece that will infuriate the opposite sex (including his wife Liz Jones), is women don't like wimps after all...

At a dinner party recently, I encountered the depressingly familiar sight of a dynamic thirty- something woman accompanied by a nerdy male sidekick that she'd browbeaten into proposing to her.

The mismatch in power was obvious. She was successful, ambitious and confident; he was a diffident, overweight, shrinking violet who measured every word he spoke in case he said anything remotely contentious that might offend her.

On her wedding finger was the most enormous, glittering engagement ring. A mutual friend later told me she'd initially been presented with a less garish but more exquisite diamond but had told her fiancÈ to return it to the shop and get her something bigger.

That huge diamond was his declaration of surrender in the sex war. But I didn't feel sorry for the stupid sap; he should have been man enough to tell her to get lost and find some other dummy.

Instead, he'd been sucker-punched into a lifetime of nagging and neglect, and looking at his bossy wife-to-be parading her huge rock, I felt a shiver of pre-emptive schadenfreude.

Her smug smile might have given the impression that her glossy-magazine-inspired life was all going to plan, but I could see the tragedy to come.

One day she'll realise how dull and unfulfilling it is to have a man who doesn't answer back, who offers no challenge or danger - but by then she'll be over the hill and stuck with him for fear of being left on the shelf. Sadly, this is the state of many marriages today.

Back in the Nineties, emboldened by the successes of feminism, women sought to slay the dragon of patriarchy by turning men into ridiculous cissies who would cry with them through chick-flicks and then cook up a decent lasagne.

Suddenly, women wanted to drive home their newfound equality by moulding men to be more like them.

This velvet revolution was reflected in a series of broader cultural changes. After decades of uncompromising movie heroes like Marlon Brando and Clint Eastwood, we were asked to fall for stuttering, floppy-haired fops like Hugh Grant; touchy-feely and hopelessly embarrassed around women.

No doubt at the time, millions of misguided single women thought that having a man who could feel their pain and emote for Britain was a Good Thing.

Now, over a decade later, women are waking up to the fact that these men are drippy, sexless bores. The feminisation of men hasn't produced the well-rounded uber-males women were hoping for.

Instead, women are now lumped with flabby invertebrates, little more than doormats, whom they secretly despise but are too proud to admit it.

Rather than partnership, professional women tend to seek dominance in a relationship. They map their lives out early on and pursue their dream of 'having it all' with cold-blooded ruthlessness.

Young women have a crystal-clear agenda: they want the career, the wardrobe, the smartly furnished house, the 4x4 and the cute kids they'll ferry in it to expensive schools. No man is going to get in their way; and the men they choose for themselves are pliant and feeble enough to facilitate that programme.

Concentrating so much energy on work and family matters requires these women to pick a man who is predictable and secure, who won't upset the apple cart by pursuing dreams and instincts of his own.

These are cardboard cut-out men who gush with empathy whenever their wives and girlfriends need to dump their professional stresses and female angst on them: weak and soulless men who haven't the guts to make a mark themselves, who take the passenger seat in their women's juggernaut journey to post-feminist Nirvana.

But having ticked off the various items on their life checklist, women are left with a nagging sense of dissatisfaction. Where was the drama? Where was the passion? Where was the stimulation and growth?

It was all forsaken for an anodyne, materialistic shopping spree that is a Good Thing. ultimately a poor substitute for a real life. These women consider themselves to be alpha-females, but they are nothing but a pathetic sham.

A true Amazon couldn't stand the company of a supplicant male, let alone marry one. Real alpha-women are the ones who can more than hold their own with an alpha-man.

Deep down, women love men who stand up to them, who won't be pushed around. They love men who will look them in the eye and tell them to shut up when their hormonal bickering has become too much.

They love men who will draw a line in the sand and walk out on them when they've had enough. They love men who know their own minds and are man enough to stick to their guns.

I'm always telling my wife, the writer Liz Jones, to shut up. She gets into a prissy huff about it, but I know she respects me for not indulging her neuroticism. Long ago, I realised it is unhealthy for a man to embroil himself in arguments with women.

While men want an argument to make sense and have a rational conclusion, women solely want the argument itself: it's a pressure valve for their emotions, and once they get started there is no stopping them.

I have a very low boredom threshold; I can't bear having protracted discussions about where my wife and I 'are going'. Nor can I bear to listen to the gossipy, highly detailed 'He said, she said' monologues that women drift into when telling you about their day.

I deal with these elements of the female personality with impassive indifference. People might call me a sexist pig, but I am the opposite. I love women, and I love my wife because she is brilliant and incredibly strong.

I am a true feminist, because I only want to be with a powerful and capable woman. No sexist could cope with having a wife as intelligent and independent as mine.

Our relationship would never have worked had I been an effete New Man, desperately wanting to sympathise with the female condition.

My wife would have grown to loathe me for my fawning cowardice. She is a warrior and she needs to be with someone who is a match for her. Knowing the limits of what I will deal with in a relationship, I maintain my self-respect and, accordingly, gain hers.

Men are now generally terrified of women. They hold their tongues for fear of being misinterpreted as sexist; they constantly attempt to secondguess their partner in order to avoid giving offence.

They preen themselves with groaning shelves full of beauty products so they won't incur derision and scorn. They suppress their masculinity and present themselves as cuddly Mr Nice Guys, and won't project self- confidence in case it's regarded as unreconstructed machismo.

This backfiring feminist conspiracy has, of course, developed hand in hand with the march of raging political correctness in Britain. The two have combined like some potent chemical reaction to explode in the faces of a generation of women who thought that a 'moulded' man would make for a desirable one.

In recent years, men have been trained like circus seals to be inoffensive to women, and no longer know how to entice them and turn them on.

But women secretly long for a man with swagger, who is cocky and selfassured and has the cheek to stand up them and make fun of their feminine foibles.

They long for the rakish charm of a man who knows there's a whole ocean of fish out there, who isn't afraid of being himself in case he is rejected.

The truth is, a real man doesn't care what any woman thinks of him. He doesn't care what anyone thinks of him: he answers solely to his spirit.

Real men don't pretend or even try to understand women. They simply love them for being the mysterious, capricious creatures that they are. And they don't take them too seriously, either. They know the vicissitudes of the female mind, its constant insecurities and the fluctuations in mood.

Rather than pander to them, they simply watch them drift by like so many clouds on the horizon. They don't get entangled in a woman's feelings and listen to her prattling on and on until she's talked herself out. Such strong and stoic men are exactly what women need to anchor themselves amid the chaos of their emotions.

Sometimes my wife bemoans my detachment and laissez-faire attitude to our marriage and wishes I were more wrapped up in her. I tell her she would soon get bored of it, because men who put women on a pedestal can't make love to them in the way that women want.

A man who is too in awe of his woman isn't going to tear her blouse open and ravish her on the couch; he isn't going to pull her hair and whisper profanities in her ear. Whenever my marriage is at a crisis point, and my wife's ego and mine are jostling for a position of supremacy, we inevitably have strenuous, battling sex.

My wife is older and more successful than I am, but the bedroom has always been the arena in which I have brought her down to earth.

The female orgasm is the natural mechanism by which men assert dominion over women: a man who appreciates this can negotiate whatever difficulties arise in his relationships with them.

Last Christmas, my wife threw me out after discovering I'd been cheating on her. On the night we got back together, I made strong, passionate love to her. Unfaithful as I'd been, I was not going to let her have me over a barrel for the rest of our marriage. I needed to keep a sense of self and not allow her to mire me in guilt and a desperate quest of forgiveness.

I needed to let her know what she would be missing if we broke up for ever. I gave her a manful bravura performance that night, and at the height of her passion, I asked her: 'Who's the boss?'

The question threw her. Initially she wouldn't give me a reply, but I enticed it from her. 'You are,' she finally gasped. 'You are!' I am a very difficult man to be with. I know I have caused my wife great pain and anxiety. But she is an adult, and ultimately it is wholly her choice whether she wants to be with me or not - I cannot be anyone other than myself.

I don't believe in working on relationships and making artificial efforts to give them substance. I believe in people being themselves and following their hearts towards whatever destiny lies before them.

When women choose to be with New Men, they are choosing a life that will be only half-lived. I think a lot of them are finally waking up to that fact. Relationships between independent and assertive people will always be fraught with tensions, but they have enormous creative energy.

Despite the many problems my wife and I have endured, we have both come a long way since we first met six years ago.

We have challenged one another to grow - professionally, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. This would never have happened had she flaked out and gone for a softer option in her choice of partner.

Bring back the real men, girls. You might just remember why you loved them in the first place.

Tourism by Nirpal Dhaliwal is published by Vintage, £7.99.

Moved In.

2008-02-08T01:57:00.000+08:00

YEAH. Good News!
I moved in officially about 2 days ago, what's better is that I managed to unpack everything within one day with the help to my cousin. And what's even better is that I'm the first person to finish unpacking. I seriously feel real good about it.

So we managed to finish the whole thing before CNY, at first we thought we were gonna move in like end of February but it's really unexpected that the work was done so fast.
It was a heck of a job to pack and unpack, I had to let go of certain things that once meant loads to me though, as I'm living in a cozier room now. No matter it's great to finally live in such a Luxury...few relatives came to visit and even the most skeptical was astonished by the fine Carpentry and Layout of the House.

Even better news is that our house is gonna compete to get an award. Don't be surprized when my House gets the best Designer award! Muahaha.

Right now it's one of the best moments of Life, for Me and most importantly, for my Family. Sometimes we don't really treasure these things, but being where I am now...I would do anything to keep such a moment last as long as it could.

I'm contented..and things would definitely turn out much more better than now in the near Future, it's like I could really see myself doing something Big. I could see myself getting successful in all aspects of Life, unlimited wealth, a Cadillac XLR-V, an independent Firm, most importantly...internal Happiness. Because everything starts from the inside, it all starts from you, from the your actions, from your motivation..from your perceptions.

Well, this is what I'd say as always to the folks out there:

Rock On.

Here's some pictures of my room:

The Entrance:

The North View:

My Cozy Bed:

Door View:

My personalized CPU and Guitar:

Here's my Bed with Space Lights at the bottom, you can see my disassembled Barbell too at the bottom:

Again, Space Lights with Main Lights Dimmed:

The Pills that I'm taking that is Vital for bodybuilding and Face maintainance:

My very own jewelery Drawer, you can see that the Eagle Necklace is damaged :(

Cupboards:

Clothes, lol they need to be ironed:

My un-ironed clothes again

Muahahaha, I shall light the many worlds! :

The dimmer adjuster:

And lastly, my trusty office chair! :

Well people, come by and visit me one of these days. You'll be amazed.

Stopped the Cigarette

2008-01-30T21:52:00.000+08:00

I am pleased to say that I have stopped the Cigarette for about a month now. And gosh I feel so clean. Like totally refreshed and ready to kick ass.
All it takes is a little self-discipline and motivation, I guess it's kinda like working out. Heh, as if. It's a challenge to see who's boss, like do you take control over your body or does your body take control over you. Well, what I did wasn't easy. I know it's always tempting to light one, like when after my work out there's some spare time..and heck my automatic decision was to take a smoke. But I managed to control myself, if I were to smoke I wouldn't deserve such a good body.
Hell, it just takes up so much time to finish a cigarette.

Anyways, I'm glad my smoking addiction's finally over. So what do I replace smoking with? You wouldn't believe it, all right it's Drinking Water,Tea or Coffee. I like the aroma of coffee,especially when I brew it myself, it's just so comforting. Tea makes me feel so relaxed, like just chilling you know. Water? Hell I'd drink a 1.5 liters in no time, it'll quench my thirst and damn..the whole craving for a smoke is gone. Well you try it, see if it works for you.

#1. I'll do whatever it takes.

2008-01-29T22:45:00.000+08:00

Here is my Motivational Board, I made it myself and heck..I'm damn proud of it.

Well....looks kinda good huh?

Life's been great for me. I'm doing superb in my Studies, after getting 2 distinctions for my O's I know I could have done better though. No matter, I'm already in an International School and damn it's a good place to study in. Well, everyone has the passion to do well and get an Education there..especially the Foreigners (they're damn hardworking). I'm getting along very well with all my new classmates there, well I can say I made loads of new Friends. No matter, it's really the Quality that counts.

Well, I'm finally doing it. I'm going after what I want, I'm Living Life to the fullest and I can never be so happy than before. My looks changed loads too, the ol' Ivan's gone..or rather, changed for the better. There are loads of Sacrifices that I made in order to take this path of Success, and thats why so few travel this path that I'm walking down. And it's really never easy to get people to understand the things I'm doing. Like why I'm not hanging out most of the time anymore. I realized it's hard, it's hard to gain mass, it's hard to look good, it's hard to do so well in my Studies. Heck, if things aren't hard then everyone should look like Models, get as rich as Millionaires and do so well in their studies. You think I don't feel pain when I workout? Hell I do, my Muscles ache like crazy, my mind's telling me to "Let go and give up", but I gotta push myself to the limits, get out of the comfort zone..and from there finish the last set, the last rep. That's what I learnt when you wanna gain Mass.
And when I go to my VO2 max, I get so fucking exhausted till I can't even see clearly..my knees get weak and weaker, till the point I don't know if I split my shin, it's just me, using my full Mental Capacity just to go on the extra mile.

Also when I do my essays, sometimes I get real tired from all the research. My mind gets stressed out so fucking much till I can't think straight, I had to make myself a cup of coffee with boiling water and drink it down to wake myself up...just to complete the essay and get good grades for it. Hell, the last time I revised for Principles Of Accounting and Finance and Communication Skills I didn't even sleep for the night. It may be unhealthy, but thats what I'm willing to do, to go the extra mile. And guess what? The next day I took these tests, they were like a breeze.

Its never easy. This truth may be hard to sallow, but just take it.
I made a Promise to myself, that I'll do whatever it takes to reach the Top.
The Top Of The Game.
And heck, when I reach the top, I could even reach higher and higher..because no one could predict to what heights I can soar, well even I would not know till I do it.

Well lately my Family's being very supportive of me, you know what my Dad did for me?
He bought a new CPU for me, he got me a home gym set, he went to the GNC to restock my supplements and heck, he even drives me to School. I told him it's cool, I don't need him to drive me to school but he fucking insists. Fuck, it's great to have such a good Father.
My Mom? Breakfast is always ready when I wake up, even by the time I got up and wanted to make breakfast, it's done! And there's more of the many great things my Family did for me, lol...my Grandma taught me her secret Fried Rice Recipe. It's fucking delicious, don't believe it? Wait till you try it and you'll know it tastes better than Restaurant quality..maybe even someday I'll open a cafe and make the Recipe proud..heck, make my Grandma proud.

You know, I still enjoy doing the old things. Like once a day I would practice on the Guitar, train my voice, sing the old songs I wrote and do some old school solo jazz dance in my room. Lol.

I'll be leaving this House real soon, I guess it's all over. Although this chapter ends bittersweet, a new one begins Bright and Shining. Damn I can't wait till we move, I'm living in a fucking Condominium! Whats even better is that it's the best Condo in the West. And don't mind the vulgarities but fuck, I think my new room looks great (even though it's not yet completed).

It's all going well here, and it's getting even better. People are asking me about Valentine's Day..well I tell em you shouldn't worry about it. Do what you enjoy, have fun!

With all that said, I think I may have a hidden power all along...I'm dead serious! I can move things with my mind..well, almost move things(a piece of tissue paper) with my mind.
You know I'm kidding don't ya? *Winks*

With that, let me end this with a classic. :)

The Beatles - Twist and Shout

UFOs are REAL.

2008-01-22T23:24:00.000+08:00

I'm real fucking busy these days, assignments, studies, working out, training my voice, guitar and the like has taken up my time for blogging entirely.

And right now I'd rather be doing the homework given than sitting down like a couch potato blogging. But the thing is, I can't.

On Monday approximatively 1pm I was on my way home, sitting on the right side corner of the backseat of a cab. You know I was just minding my own business like looking out at the window and enjoying the view of the scenery/sky via the route turning left from the Science Center to Chinese Garden MRT. Suddenly I saw this "thing" pop up from the sky. Either it just popped up or I wasn't really aware of it yet. At first I thought it was a Plane, Helicopter or a bird...but it remained stationary and what the fuck it was then hovering in a slow pace. I was like, "WTF?!", I wanted to get a shot of it from my camera phone but as soon as I saw it for the few seconds it started to go faster. And what I mean by faster...is that it WENT FASTER AND FASTER as I saw it. The cab then took a turn to the left and I lost it as the view was blocked by the MRT tracks.

One thing certain for sure, I saw a UFO. With my very own eyes and I'm 100% positive it's a UFO. Come on people what else could it be? A weather balloon? LOL, a weather balloon wouldn't be that high up in the sky and suddenly moving at a high rate of speed would it? Also there is another thing that I noticed...it's like as soon as I found out about it, it just disappeared..it's weird..really weird...like it can detect that it got spotted. Well, the way I saw it moved was just breathtaking...nothing could ever move so smoothly in the sky. And I really wanted to make sure that I was right, I researched on the subject of UFOs and I found out that people who reported their sightings were either brushed off or classified as crazy, drunk, blind, myopic, not qualified to look at the sky. LOL. I wonder how long more is the Government(World) going to hide the fact and feed us propaganda that we're Alone. The fact is, we are not alone...and heck I know for sure one day this thing is gonna be a big hit to the World.

Below is a list of a few videos that are 100% real. They in no way could be faked.

Florida UFO - Solid Proof Of UFOS On film- UFOS ARE REAL:
Folks at last we see a UFO!, Final proof that flying saucers are real.

Ufo in Belgium chased by air force F16's:
Belgium in the early 1990's had a massive wave of ufo sightings all over the country, The belgium government finally came out and told the public about the issue and said about an incident where they scrambled belgium air force F16's to intercept one of these objects eventually one aircraft had a lock on to the object and then it zipped off out of sight at thousands of miles an hour, interesting stuff!!

Three Flying Saucers In Broad Daylight:
What more proof do we need. Three UFOs shown here, all very very similar. All with multiple witnesses and in broad daylight! They were filmed from non related individuals from three parts of the world.

United Kingdom UFO Sightings:
A photographer from Lowestoft films and takes pictures of UFOS in the U.K. sky.

Overall there's more to where that came from, click on the video itself to go to youtube where you can see all the stuff and find out the truth for yourself. Heck, there's even a Larry King show about UFOs now...go check it out.

Nitric Oxide,Creatine and Whey Protein.

2008-01-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

Ahh it's been a few days since I last did an entry.
Well Life gets me busier and busier once I listed down my goals for January.
Actually it's my study time right now, but heck I feel I gotta get this done first.

Today was the first day I attended "Principles Of Business Management(I)" lesson. It was the first time I saw my lecturer...and it was the first time I came late for his lesson. And the moment I stepped into the classroom doors, being who I am...you know the cool light-brown haired guy with sunglasses was greeted with a cold eerie stare from an Indian Lecturer. The whole class stayed in silence, the tension was overwhelming....soooo I decided to break it! WASSUP!? It was then laughter was heard and I knew I had succeeded..however Mr. Lecturer did not say anything so I just went off and found a seat. And by the time I got my seat several other late comers came in from the back door. "Damn!", I thought to myself. "Should have went in by the back door. Geez..."

Anyways, despite that bad incident the lecture was interesting..and I found out that Mr. Lecturer was quite a friendly guy after all. And the class too enjoyed it, haha! We're gonna play football tomorrow.
Well, I really found what I'm learning to be very interesting...way better than Secondary school..oh yeah, Principles Of Accounting and Finance was easy as well..

Other than School, my workout is currently doing fricking good.....Nitric Oxide helps me intensify my workouts tremendously..I seriously feel like a fricking monster set loose in the gym after taking it 1/2 an hour before I go to the gym. Also, now with the combined powers of Hydroxycut for increasing metabolism rate, Creatine for muscle saturation and Whey Protein for Muscle Growth, I'm finally bulking up the mass real fast. Damn this feels good.
However due to the fact that I'm building muscles, my diet's gonna be real strict. I'm on a Low Carb, High Protein diet. Which means that my rice portion is reduced by half, I now eat six small meals a day and trust me, you'll feel much more energized having six small meals a day than having 3 large meals a day.
Once I'm done with bulking up to the size of a Human Tank it's time to cut, so I'll be doing more reps with lighter weights and loads of cardio..and finally...get the Lean Muscular Body I always dreamed of and envy in the Models.

My hair's back to light brown, I took away my golden-blonde highlights. And people say I look way much better with light brown hair.

But no matter how much you change outside, you still gotta change the inside. And that's what I've been doing, staying strong..believing in myself, encouraging myself and really just loving who I am. Heck, now I kinda like to spend time with myself..coz it's fricking rare that I got so much free time...however I do love the things that I've been doing...like working out, studying, improving in my guitar, training my voice, jogging, going out, etc.

Well overall, Life Is Greatt~

Also, I've been reading some jokes about dumb blondes eg,

Q: Did you hear about the blonde who attempted to drive to EuroDisney?
A: She saw a sign saying: "EuroDisney Left" so she went home.

Q: What did the Dumb Blonde do when she went to a film that had an NC-17 (no under 17's) rating?
A: Went home and got 16 friends.

Q: What did the blonde girl name her pet Zebra?
A: Spot.

LOL. And besides dumb blondes and all...here we have dumb blacks. Damn...seriously right now almost everywhere I go I see attractive young black-haired Singaporeans...only to the fact that "some" of them are dumb, spoilt and Superficially Social. Well I ain't gonna stereotype, but this is overwhelming...and when I look back to the past I realized I kinda had a thing for them. Well that's why most of the girls I dated are dumb blacks.

I realized it's really my ego anyway, like I would get some Hot girl and show em' off. And then I would get validated for being such a "cool" guy. But damn, when I look back at the past now..it's disgusting. Ugh. Fuck. I can't even imagine myself with a dumb Woman who can't even cook me dinner, give me massages and iron my clothes. Heck they could suck my $@!$ for all I care, but when it comes to the Clothes, uh-uh, they ain't touching it. Looks don't deceive me now.

IT'S A MAN'S WORLD BABY.

My little sleeping problem.

2008-01-08T02:19:00.000+08:00

It's 2.19 am.....I'm here, as advised (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20071206194533AA95xzA) to write something down which helps me to be able to get things off my mind.

I got a problem with sleeping, I "slept" at 11.30pm or so but it's like when I'm sleeping I'm still awake. Like I'm still aware of the surroundings around me and stuff. Well I tried going back to sleep, tossed and turned, changed to much more comfortable clothing, mostly everything I usually do before I go to sleep but somehow...I can't fricking go to sleep.

So I goggled, "Am I asleep or still awake?" and surprisingly the results I wanted didn't appear.
I really need to solve this sleeping problem or get some pills.

Not only I'm not able to sleep, I'm down with flu and I gotta go to school tomorrow still. I really have no choice but to go to school because I really do enjoy what I'm learning and I just can't miss out from the lessons.

Damn, I guess I just need somebody to talk to at this hour to make me feel better.
Well it's cool, at least I'm still able to blog down this post to make me feel better.

Okay...about Life...

Recently I've been very busy, the first is with my own workout program.
I've been working out regularly in order to get the mass I've always wanted, somehow still no matter how hard I workout the results are still fricking slow. Well I have gotten myself finally some nitric oxide and whey protein today and will be taking it from tomorrow onwards. Hey, maybe it's not how hard I workout...it's how smart I workout....
Damn, now I know why I ain't bulking up that much yet. I guess it's time to try some new workout moves and have a better routine. Heh, guess that's one problem settled.
It's really funny how the solution presents itself in the most unexpected time. Lol.

Okay I guess I'm all right now, managed to get a laugh out of this and hey, I'm feeling way better now. Hmm, I'll get myself a piece of cheese and go to sleep after that.

Other than that I'll blog more about what happened recently in the evening, well people...nites!

One down, one to go.

2008-01-03T00:52:00.000+08:00

Today was the first exam of the year, and damn...I studied so fucking hard for it. Heck, I skipped my sleep last night just to study communication skills. I guess that was the first time I studied that "hard". Lol, what's worse is that I have been studying INTENSELY for the last week just to get a pass.

If I'd look back, I really never took my studies this seriously before. I guess maybe I had my fun and now it's time to get to work on what I really want in Life. My purpose in Life and everything else that has to do with my own personal success. Well, I stopped playing games with myself and come to the truth of my own excuses for having not able to reach my goals for December.

Yes I did complete most of the goals, but I am still quite disappointed in not achieving my ultimate goal..that is to build up at least 6kg of pure Muscle mass. What I'm at now is only a fucking 2.6kg increase in muscle mass. I think I'm doing a little too much of Aerobic exercises and that's why I ain't gaining mass as I'm supposed to.

I have been jogging 3km four times a week, and I broke my own personal record of jogging 4km last week when I did "bonk" training. I'm losing fat fast, but I'm not gaining much Muscle. Fuck, I seriously think I need that fricking Nitric Oxide and more whey protein to fully exert the Muscles to develop. The problem right now is that I'm facing a little financial problems and I'm on my own, I took the path of not asking my parents for too much money so they could be able to fully furnish the new house that consolidates with the Plan.

I know Chinese New Year is coming soon, maybe if I saved up enough I could finally get my hands on some whey Protein and Nitric Oxide. Then I should be able to gain all the mass I need. After the mass is all gained, like a big giant block of clay it's now time to cut and sculpt the body to the Lean, Muscular new Me. My face is getting much better now and it's getting fixed. I'll be doing chemical peeling with my own cash.
And I know all these costs above a thousand, but I think I should be able to manage my Money in time.
Okay, now that I got this down...it's time to Rock!

I did my exams today, and heck no IT'S A WHOLE PIECE OF CAKE. I was like why the fuck would I study so hard for to take this fucking paper...seriously it's no fucking challenge at all...ahh I guess I'll be getting an A for communication skills after all. Heheh, Friday's gonna be Principles of Accounting and Finance. Well, if this was easy then PAF should be easy as well...but it's no time to be overconfident. I should stay consistent in my Studies and score well. Yep, that's the plan.

Today I met up with Sera at Far East Plaza, damn it's been awhile since I met her and lol, Sera you look like an intellectual Woman today. Damn! But after that we were joined by Babara and had dinner at...American Club! Drinks are on Sera! Hahah! XD
I actually ordered the most expensive drink to be smart. Lol, nah I'm just playing with ya.
But after dinner we went to the bowling alley in the club and lol, the supervisor said it's free today because of several reasons.
1. She knows Sera very well, they are like good friends for a long time.
2. She's quitting soon so it's now or never!
3. She's high.

Okay so we bowled and did I mention there were disco lights!? LOL. It seriously felt like a disco, with the lights and the great music and such a big open space..I couldn't help but join in the dance between the supervisor and her co-worker. Heck, it was great dancing and bowling. The place seriously fucking rocks(I'm serious).
After that we went to town and met up with Gemma and her Friend..talked for a while and went to Cini to chill, but it was gettting late so we decided to go off.

We got a cab and shared it, first to go was Babara and then me...followed by Sera with the cab fare reaching a peak of about $40+. LOL...overall, I had a great time today.

Well I'm off,
Rock On.

Spooky Walk

2008-01-02T04:49:00.000+08:00

Pretty soon I'll be going for a spooky walk around Haunted houses just for the chill of it...damn, it'll be a pleasure once again seeing subtle signs of the presence of Spirits or even worse...a headless ghost....

Seriously, I'll be going for it and if anyone wanna come with me has to let me know as soon as possible, best before friday. :)

The very few times

2008-01-02T04:12:00.000+08:00

I was never afraid.
The last time I got scared out of my guts was visiting the Haunted Red-House.
But that was the last time I promised myself that nothing's gonna scare me again.

However, it seems I broke that promise to myself. Because...now, I'm scared.
I really am...
It has nothing to do with Ghosts, Demons, Devils or whatever...
It's about the exams that is coming, soon...real soon.
In about 8 hours time I'll be facing my first exam, I can't sleep...heck, I don't even know why the fuck am I blogging now..maybe it's something to get rid of the stress/tension. I've been studying for 10 hours now...but I can't get it right still.
Fuck, the format of a memo, third-person reports, general reports, procedures, findings, term of reference, frame of reference, "I" messages and the list goes on and on.
I realized maybe enrolling into MDIS is a mistake, I ain't some nerd who can complete a fucking diploma in 10 months...it's impossible!
Yeah, accelerated learning kinda sucks.
You have to squeeze in all the info and when space runs out, it's time to take the compressor and compress...make a little more space for more info to come.
Like they say our brain is like a CPU. Fuck that, I hate logical terms.

Sure I know some here and there but I ain't no geek...what the heck....but the truth is Logic can be a useful tool. But hey, creativity comes into place too..
And when we combine these 2, we get someone who we call a genius. Well, practically speaking the genius is a 1/100 case. We ain't using our god-dammned brains, either we lean in to the Left side of the Brain or the right side.

Lol whhy am I talking about brains anyway? Geez, I guess I should get back to revising on communication skills. Whole load of damned knowledge I'd say.

....Maybe I should try to use both brains and see how it works out in my revision.
Yeah, good idea! Damn Ivan your a fucking genius. LOL!

My New Haircut

2007-12-29T21:02:00.000+08:00

And the Asian Edition:

EnJOY!

Funny Papers

2007-12-29T20:14:00.000+08:00

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Did I say I was dead?

2007-12-22T21:25:00.000+08:00

Hell No.

I'm ALIVE N KICKING.

And heck, I'm doing REAL GOOD.
Just been a little busy with school currently.

I'm glad Christmas is near, damn it's gonna be good to have such a feast.
Especially unlimited amount of food for you to stuff in.

Turkey Delights, Log Cakes, Roasted Chicken, Honey Baked Turkey Ham, Mashed Potatoes, Pudding..you name it.

And yours truly is again, Single.
So hey I'm Single and ready to mingle.

But is it really time to mingle?

Exams are real near, I'm left with 1 week and 2 days till it hits.
I gotta stay mentally sharp and physically fit.
So it means I ain't gonna go look for any gal now, heck I don't even have time to exercise now.
Damn, my entire schedule's packed up, and nobody ain't gonna screw it up for me.

So for the next whole week, except for Christmas and New Year...I'll be only spending time with myself, Family and really Close friends. The rest of the time, is for my Studies and work-out. Other than that no one should be able to contact me unless for emergency situations.

Did I mention I hate the rain? :(

Other than that, Have A Merry Christmas!

Cheers!

Four Wives

2007-12-03T14:16:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best. He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confident and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the times.

The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, when I die, I'll be all alone."

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walked away without another word Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!"

His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time", replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave."

Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go."

The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:
Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die. Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others. Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave,

And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us and continue with us throughout Eternity.

We all can know a RockStar

2007-12-01T01:39:00.000+08:00

Yo wassup people!

I guess it's been awhile since my last post yeah.
Well I've been busy...

Real Busy.

What the heck am I up to nowadays huh?

First things first I guess.

Ok, I got accepted into MDIS (Management Development Institute Of Singapore).
It's kinda the type of school that has many...or should I say...HUGE amounts of Foreigners.
Yeah, you can bet there's so many different Nationalities from all over the World.
Laos, Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia, China...and even France. WHOA WHAT THE HECK! So far the furthest I met is a Black Guy from France. Yep he's some big dude who speaks French and a high status guy. You'll get to know him better when you meet him though, it's hard to explain.
Well, School's been fucking sweet for me.
Lol, it's only the first week and I've never been so fucking well known. Guys will be like, "Who the heck is that dude over there? He looks like a fucking Rock-Star man..", Girls will be like, "Oh my gosh....isn't he some kind of well-known Singer or something like that?"
Other than being popular, I've gotten to make new Friends.
And non of them are Foreigners mind you, all are locals.
Well, I can say that they're all from different areas of Singapore. Heck, different races too. Lol.
So far the Clique I've gotten into ranges from 3 Chinese (me included), 2 Malays and an Indian dude. Well all of em are really into their studies and I can see that they have gone through all walks of life...gangsterism, clubbing, jail, drugs, work, NS, Women and the like. And it's nothing to be afraid of them. They're all friendly people. Hmm, I'm the Youngest so far in the Clique, lol all of them have gone through NS and I'm the only one left lah. One thing that intrigues me the most is really getting to know them better..when there's free time we would all sit and chat...and what's most inspiring is the things they have experienced and them giving me real lessons to learn from. Really, it's like what the heck..you can learn so much from them just by letting them tell their own tale of Life. Heh pretty cool huh.
Other than them, I met so many other people too in School. So far I haven't gotten to know the whole class yet, it's like there's new people in the class everyday.
But School's so fucking different from Secondary School...
I'm enjoying what I'm learning, it's like this is really what I wanted to do in the Future...get Rich, entertain people, make small talk, and all the kind of things to do with Tourism, Travel and Hotels.
Guess it'll be a whole fricking new Adventure for me.

I'll even be learning how to be a Bartender and manage Food and Beverage! ;D
What I'm learning now is currently Communication Skills and Principles Of Accounting and Finance.
But it's cool..I love it.

So I gotta go sleep now.

Rock On.

PS: I can dance like Ne-Yo now. :)

Jogging Fanatic.

2007-11-23T20:27:00.000+08:00

Holy Macaroni.
It's amazing how many people I met when I was jogging.
First I met an old Uncle, and what the heck he's a jogging expert. He's been jogging for years now and he's really friendly. He taught me the right way to breathe when jogging, like you breathe according to the speed your doing, the heart rate, etc. And I realized that I have been doing it all wrong when jogging. No wonder sometimes my lungs get all desperate for oxygen. Well I've been breathing properly since then, and it's really a useful tool because I'm now able to jog 10 rounds?
Hmm, 1 round consist of 300m...so it's 300 x 10 = 3000m. Holy shit I'm jogging 3km now..lol I didn't know I could jog for 3km.
Another person I met was this girl who was overweight, well I kinda bumped into her accidentally when I was jogging, so I apologized and after that we had a good chat. Like I always see her jogging around, kinda like a regular. Well it's great to know her.
The last person I met is also another Female, she's about 25-27 judging from her looks. Well she's a avid jogger and I have seen her jogging here and there so I kinda stopped and said "Hi" while she was warming up, well she's kinda friendly and was kind enough to spare me some water (I forgot to bring my own that time). So altogether I met about 3 new people. And all of em are really good people too. Usually nowadays when I see them around I'll just say a simple "Hi" to adknowledge them as a fellow jogger. Damn it's great to meet people who are regulars.

Hmm, another thing I realized is that my average jogging speed has increased, I realized I complete my rounds faster than before. And heck, the feeling of the afterjog feels fucking great. Heck, it feels great even when jogging. I guess I'm improving myself too when jogging. Hey, jogging can be a chick magnet. :P

Lol. Talking about it I've been counting calories too..like watching out for the types of food I eat, now I have a balanced diet. Oh yeah, Green Tea (without sugar) works wonders. It rids your body of all the toxins you've taken, burns fat, and much more.

Okay, I'm off for a shower.
Pz.

Looks like things are going well. :)

2007-11-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

Whew, first and foremost I would like to say that I'M DOING GREAT!
I have no fucking idea why am I so fucking happy even though I got nothing to be happy about, lol what the heck? I've got loads of things to be happy about.
I'm happy about everything. LOL.
Whatever shit that happens to me, I'm happy.
Even if I lost everything, I'm happy.
Why am I so happy anyways?
It's really hard for me to tell you guys about it, because it's the happiness that comes from the inside that makes you real happy for being who you are.
I'm having some acne problems right now, but am I unhappy? NO! I'm a fucking Happy guy. :)
I left my new belt at the arcade, am I sad? NO! I'm fucking Happy! LOL.

What I know is that you couldn't give a shit about what people say about you..trust me, I've learnt that from past experiences. From singing, socializing..heck, I learnt it from Life.
And people, don't let anyone define who you are. I've had people saying, "Your singing sucks man, why not just get a normal job and work and earn your own stable money like everyone else. You know, don't try to be who you not are..you know you can't sing or even play the guitar well..like even Elvis played better than you, hell, my sister could beat you in guitar." LOL, but did that bring me down? NO! I got better at singing, I got better at the Guitar, I didn't need his validation, and I was like.."Whatever, I couldn't give a shit about what your saying dude." And look, who's the one with all the talent now? Who's the one with all the like-minded people who suffered the same criticisms as I did? Me. Every singer is sure to get criticized, ranging from the way he dresses to the way he does his thing. And who are the judges to judge anyway? Lol, it's all to do with personal taste really. Critics have their own personal taste, and we have our own personal taste.

Take a game called, "Clive Barker's Jericho", for example. Gamespot gave it a 6.5 out of a 10. I was like WHAT THE FUCK? How can it be a frigging 6.5? It's fucking awesome man! In the end, it has all to do with personal taste. Nuff' said.

Hmm, talking about life.

I've been going out lately with different groups of friends.
First it's my own schoolmates, on monday I met up with Jian Feng and Si yao just to chill you know, then afterwards may may joined us and all of us kinda had a great time talking here and there, lol I visited my Grandfather due to certain reasons. He looks kinda pleased at seeing me, I missed him loads though..and I miss his old police baton, lol he still keeps his old Police Helmet as a display. Damn, don't mess with my grandfather people or he'll beat your sorry asses up. XD

On tuesday I went out with my Mum and we had a great time shopping. Yep, me and the elegant lady had a great time out on Bugis shopping. It's rare to see Son's going out with their Mom for shopping nowadays, why? Mainly because they're too embarrassed about it as their Parent's aren't "cool" and all. Well my parent's are fucking great and I fucking love going out with them. After all, such a Handsome Son with such an Elegant Mother makes a good combination..not to mention I get a free meal too... ;)
I met up with my schoolmates again after that, it's me, Jian Feng, Si Yao, Shu Feng and Si yao's little brother. Lol we went to Fish and Co. for dinner and the Fish was really fucking good. Heck, that's why they call it, "The best fish and chips in town", they deserve it for living up to their standards. Well we all ordered Fish and Chips except Si yao and his brother, lol their seafood platter looks wholefully delicious..not to mention the serving's are fucking big. Like it's meant for 3 people instead of 2. Anyways we had a good time at Fish and Co. I met up with my parents after that as they were only 2 levels below me...lol they were at Mac Cafe and what the heck?! I thought they would pay for my coffee but I ended up paying it by myself. Lol, some parents they are huh? Nah just joking, I'll love you guys no matter what. :p

And Wednesday(today) I met up with my old Church friends, well they met up with me to see how I'm doing as I have not attended church for a frigging long time. We met up and again, I had Fish and Co. LOL, I can't help it all right..their Fish and Chips are too fricking addictive! We chit-chat and it's all cool, had a great time catching up with them too..well all the best for the Youth camp! :D

And here I am now, it's past midnight but I'll be going down for a jog later. No one's gonna stop me from jogging! I can't fucking live without jogging a 2.4 km session at least 4 times a week. Hell I'm addicted to jogging and working out. Except that I'm addicted to eating too. LOL, it's cool I always watch my diet and count calories.

Did I mention that I did my hair..again? ;)

I'm A Flirt

2007-11-19T17:00:00.000+08:00

[Chorus: R.Kelly]
I'm A, I'm A, I'm A, I'm A Flirt
Soon As I See Her Walk Up In The Club (I'm A Flirt)
Winkin Her Eyes At Me, When I Roll Up On Them Dubs (I'm A Flirt)
Sometimes When I'm With My Chick All Alone (I'm A Flirt)
And When She's Wit Her Man Lookin At Me, Damn Right (I'm A Flirt)
So Homie Don't Bring Your Girl To Meet Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
And Baby Don't Bring Your Girlfriend To Eat Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
Please Believe It, Unless Your Game Is Tight And U Trust Her
Then Don't Bring Her Around Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)

[Verse 1: Kells]
Now Swear To Tell The Truth
And The Whole Truth
When It Comes To Those I Be Pimpin Like I Supposed To
Rollin Like I Supposed To
Shinin Like I Supposed To
In The Club, Freakin Wit Honeys Like I Supposed To
I Don't Understand It When A Playa Bring His Girlfriend To the Club
Freakin All On The Floor Wit His Girlfriend In The Club
And Wonder Why All These Playas Tryin To Holla At Her
Just Soon As She Go To The Bathroom, Playa I'm Goin Holla At Her
A Dog On The Prawl When I'm Walkin Through The Mall
If I Could Man I Probably Would Flirt Wit All Yall
Yeah, Yeah Homie U Say She Ya Girlfriend
But When I Step Up To Her I'm Be Like Cousin
Believe Me Man, This Is How Them Playas Do It In The Chi
And Plus We Got Them Player-ette Flirters In The Chi
Now The Moral Of The Story Is Cuff Yo Chick
Cuz Hey I'm Black, Handsome, I Sing Plus I'm Rich And (I'm A Flirt)

[TIP Speaking:]
Hey Homie, If U Ain't Gettin No Money
U Better Keep Her Away From Me Ya Dig.

[Verse 2: TIP]
Well If U Love Ya Girl
And Wanna Keep Ya GIrl
Don't Be Walkin Up And Askin Me To Meet Ya Girl
Cuz I'm Well Enough A Flirt When I Speak To Girl
She Winked Her Eyes On The Slide
I Seent U Girl
Better Treat Your Girl Right
Cuz Another Man Will
Better Eat Ya Girl LIke Another Man Will
Cuz U Leave Your Wife
And I See Ya Wife
That Be For Real
How Long U Think That's Finna Be Ya Wife
Well I'm Livin The Life
You Just Gettin It Right
Your Old Lady Look At Me
Cuz U Ain't Hittin It Right
She Probably Used To Like U
Cuz U You The Better Type
That's Until I Came Along
And Put Some Dick In Her Life
Wanna See how that ass look with dick in her life
I Noticed She Was Checkin Me
And Diggin The Ice
And If I Get That Tonight
Better Hit That Twice
I Can Even Make Her Mine
If I HIt That Right
You Know Smack That Thang
Sit That Right
Upon That Dresser
Yeah That's Right
Pullin On Her Hair
Like We Gettin In A Fight
Yeah I Know It's Kinda Tight
But It'll settle Just Right
So If Yo Girl Sexy
And She Test Me
Don't Be Upset G
Cuz U Might Catch Me
Tryin To Catch A Glance Up Her Skirt
We Playing In My glan in reverse
Then If I See Her And I Like Her Then I'm A Flirt

Lets Go Yall!
[Verse 3: T-Pain]
When I, When I, When I,When I Pull Up To Club
All The Shawties Be Like (Damn 28's)
Then I Be Like Girl U Know Just Who I Am (Don't Hate)
See I Done Fell In Love Wit A Stripper Yall
All I Do Is Flirt With Her, And I Get Them Draws
And I Don't Need No Help, I Got It Down Pact
Teddy Paine Was Born To Flirt Now U Can't Down That
Now I'm Flirt With Her Whether I'm In Or Out Of Town
That's Why They Call Me Teddy Bend Her Ass Down
I be like como si llama, lil mama mi llamo Pain, What Is Yo Name
I'm Feelin Yo Vibe
And I'm Hopin U Feel The Same
I'm A Wink My Eye And Let U Know I Got The Game
When I Pass By I Know Exactly What U Say
He's So Fly
And Yes He's So Coo
Hey Shawty(Hey Shawty)
What It Do (Do)
He Mad Cuz I'm Lookin But I Already Touched Her
I Got Youre Boyfriend Mad Cuz (I'm A Flirt)

[Chorus: R.Kelly]
Soon As I See Her Walk Up In The Club (I'm A Flirt)
Winkin Her Eyes At Me, When I Roll Up On Them Dubs (I'm A Flirt)
Sometimes When I'm With My Chick All Alone (I'm A Flirt)
And When She's Wit Her Man Lookin At Me, Damn Right (I'm A Flirt)
So Homie Don't Bring Your Girl To Meet Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
And Baby Don't Bring Your Girlfriend To Eat Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
Please Believe It, Unless Your Game Is Tight And U Trust Her
Then Don't Bring Her Around Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)

[Verse 4: Kells]
It's The Remix
Now If U Walk Up In The Club with a bad Chick and She Lookin At Me
Then I'm Gon Hit
Man Jackin For Chicks
I Tried To Quit
But I'm Playa Homie
So I Had To Hit
While U Buyin Her Drinks (In The Club)
Actin Like U (In Love)
Stunnin Like U (All Thug)
We Was (Switching Numbers)
She Lookin At U When I Walk By
U Turn Yo Head, She Wink Her Eye
I Can't Help If She Checkin For A Platinum Type Of Guy
She Be Callin Me Daddy, And I Be Callin Her Mommy
She Be Callin U Kelly, When Yo Name Is Tommy
I Don't Know What Yall Be Thinkin
When U Bring Em Round Me (Thanks)
Let Me Remind U That I Am The King Of R&B (Thanks)
Do U Know What That Means
That Means If U Love Yo Chick
Don't Bring Her To The VIP
Cuz I Might Leave Wit Yo Chick
Just Keepin It Real
It is A Playa's Feel
Don't Take No Bitch To The Club When U Just Met Her
Cuz I'm Flirt Wit Her (Right)
He Gon Flirt Wit Her (Right)
And If She Lookin Dat Good Shit
She Gon Flirt Wit her

[Chorus: Til Song Fades R.kelly]
I'm a Flirt
Soon As I See Her Walk Up In The Club (I'm A Flirt)
Winkin Her Eyes At Me, When I Roll Up On Them Dubs (Please Believe it) (I'm A Flirt) (Yeah)
Sometimes When I'm With My Chick On The Low (I'm A Flirt)
And When She's Wit Her Man Lookin At Me, Damn Right (I'm A Flirt)
So Homie Don't Bring Your Girl To Meet Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
And Baby Don't Bring Your Girlfriend To Eat Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
Please Believe It, Unless Your Game Is Tight And U Trust Her
Then Don't Bring Her Around Me Cuz (I'm A Flirt)
I'm A, I'm A, I'm A, I'm A Flirt
Kells
T.I.
T-Pain
Ladys if ya man aint hittin it right, just call us

Deep in sleepless nights.

2007-11-19T04:25:00.000+08:00

Sometimes when you have nothing to do, just living on the oxygen in the air..slowly breathing...and really having nothing to do about life. Sometimes you just feel like sleeping...because you really have nothing else much to do late in the night.

Yet sometimes...when you lie on the bed and close your eyes..it feels as though you still have so much to do...so much...till the point it feels like your really missing out on everything...on all the excitement and anticipation in your Heart of what could cross paths to your Life. Or what you could have done to experience a new miracle in your Life..with all these excitement and anticipation building up on you...as you lay down on the bed in the dark, you can't sleep..your waay too excited about what's gonna happen...yet in that moment you have nothing to do, except just breathe oxygen..or maybe get a light outside..sing and strum the guitar...the stuff we always do when we're bored you know.

Well, that's what I'm kinda feeling right now. It's 4 in the morning, or even half past four now.
For some reason when I try to sleep I'll stay awake and when I try not to sleep I'll doze off. Lol, kinda ironic isn't it?

I haven't gone clubbing for about a Month now and what the heck...I'm bored out of my mind, I kinda miss clubbing though. I'll be going soon once I'm given an invite again, well I kinda turned down many invites during my O levels but what the heck, I'm not getting any invites now? Maybe everyone's resting now I guess. Lol, how can everyone be resting since it's the Holiday Season? And it's Singapore damn it! Singapore has about 50-100 parties happening every week! They're all gotta be partying somewhere....Geez, I guess I'll just go by myself to a party. Like what I always used to do when I was starting out..go to a party, girl sees me...me sees girl...girl smiles at me..me smiles at girl..me then approaches the girl...talk talk..chit chat...have fun. :)

It's really simple actually, for some reason I don't know why the fuck are people trying to complicate things. Have our minds become too complex for it to even understand simplicity?
And I have no idea and I don't know why the fuck are the guys now doing so much just to figure out how to "pick-up" a girl from the club. Well I might as well bitch-slap them when I do see such guys again in the club..bah even from everywhere.

I also hate it when people ask me if I'm Single or not, I mean like what the fuck? I hate getting into relationships with people now, I fucking hate the term, "Boyfriend". LOL, kinda reminds me of those guys trying to kiss up to a girl's ass. "Just chilling out", sounds way better than, "Boyfriend". Why? Because you get to date as many as you want without being ashamed of it. And really, I'm still trying to find someone that matches what I'm looking for. Well, every guy's dream gal can't be found on a little place called "Earth", you know. ;p
You may have to go to Venus eventually I guess.

That's why Men are from Mars and Women are From Venus. LOL.

Men play sports, do all the mechanics, likes all the cool adrenaline pumping stuff.
Women love Drama, Soap Opera, like all the warm comfy stuff.

Ok.
I'm kinda tired already so I guess I'm just gonna close my eyes and transition from Beta state to Delta State.

That in simple terms is, Sleep.

Nitez people.

It's all new.

2007-11-15T01:45:00.000+08:00

So I did it.
I made it through the O levels.
Finally.... :)

I got rid of the crazy hairstyle, dyed my hair to autumn red.
It kinda looks better than the old rocker hair.
Although it won't be that obvious in the dark, but it looks good anyway.
I'm also currently working out hard, been jogging 8 rounds a day around the park.
1 round consists of 300m, so....300x8=2400.
That's 2.4km folks. And I'll soon be able to get a gold medal for a 2.4 km run.

I certainly feel great after I work out, it's like a rush/thrill of excitement through your veins. Man, even after I worked out I'll feel like working out again! LOL.
I bought myself Creatine and stocked up on ZMA, soon when I have the cash I'll get myself some whey protein.
Well, I've been taking loads of pills daily.
Multivitamin pills, Grape Seed extract, Amino Acid pills, Joint Support pills, Diamond Mind Memory enhancement pills, Hydroxycut pills and ZMA plus now an additional of two 750 mg creatine pills daily. So that makes up to like 20 pills a day?
Holy Shit...I didn't know I was taking so much fucking pills. Lol.
These are essential mind you, without them results may get slower. And what the heck, I feel so fucking healthy because of all these pills that gives me the Nutrition, Memory Enchantment, Muscle Mass and Energy attributes that I would never had if I didn't get serious on improving my life.

Talking about Life...
Life is so fucking great now. I'm on my way to take a Diploma on Travel, Tourism and Hospitality Management at MDIS. And that's what I really wanted to take after my O's. I feel so fucking high everytime, I feel great being with myself. In fact I don't need any company, fuck..I'm so comfortable with just being by myself. I'd rather work on myself than waste my time dating girls now. First it's my own success that counts, second I'm the only Guy in the family and that means eventually I'll be the breadwinner of the family, I gotta take care of my parents too you know, make them feel proud of what they have done for me.

Also I noticed I have been able to sense people's energy levels..whether they're giving off a negative vibe or a positive vibe. It's like so real, and when I just look at em...I could see it in their eyes of what it's like to be them.
I guess it must be the meditations, lol.

I'll get back on my Music and Voice too, I wanna get a grade 8 cert for classical guitar.
Get my voice up till 5 octaves and eventually I wanna write Music and Lyrics that will really...inspire...touch... and motivate people, to open their eyes and let them know they're not worthless and lousy or negative. To explore and find out their own passions for Life. I wanna let them know that all of them are...in fact...special...unique...born to be who they want to be...meant to be...

Damn there's so much to do...so little time. My secondary school days are over, it's time to step in to Adulthood. Actually...Pre-Adulthood.
So guys, I do apologize if I don't blog regularly..just too damn busy nowadays. So hey, do keep in touch with me all of ya. I can't wait to talk to everyone of you out there. ;)

Rock On.
-Ivan

All the way..

2007-11-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

When somebody loves you...it's no good unless she loves you..all the way
Happy to be near you......
When you need someone to cheer you....all the way~

Ahh, I'm at home now. It's 11.31 pm Singapore time GMT +8.
.
.
.
It's now 11.32pm.

But how comfortable it is, just to be at home...listening to the jazz music that plays softly in the background..with the warmth of the blanket engulfing you..

While it rains...thunder and lightning outside...
But a sip of warmth from that hot cup of mocha makes you feel...
So...relaxed...and safe.

Well so here I am, it's Social studies tomorrow but I'm taking a break now.
And I'm really looking forward to the end of the O levels, which is just 2 days away.
Gosh I'm really looking forward to bleach my hair golden white..lol.

Also once this shit is finally over, I'm gonna get myself a Good Girl. Yes, I wanna settle down and really kinda tired. So far, I've met so many fucking good looking Women..but what the fuck? How many of these good looking women are good girls? Well, most of them are party girls and freakos. Although I do enjoy being with them, the irony is that they're not what I'm looking for.
You know what I really want to find in a girl? She's gotta be a real lady, civilized, graceful, elegant and really adorable. LOL nah just joking..I don't really have that high expectations. ;p

Looks don't matter much to me, it's the heart that counts. :)

Well I guess my break's over, time to get back to Social studies again.

Rock On People.
-Ivan

MDIS ( Management Development Institute Of Singapore)

2007-11-01T21:41:00.000+08:00

I'll be heading to MDIS to continue my studies.
This time I'll be able to at least study what I enjoy, that's right folks..people. ;)
Well I'll be taking a Diploma in Travel, Tourism and Hospitality Management..gosh..I guess I'll be able to travel the world after all! Yeah.
Okay other than that my O levels are finally coming to an end, the last paper is on Tuesday and I can't wait! After that I'll be able to finally make my hair golden, lol it already was.
I'm not sure what colour I should dye it, maybe light red? Some creative suggestions are welcomed. :)

Hmm, my Life is gonna go to a whole new level too..I've been doing meditations and WHAT THE HECK! IT FEELS SO FUCKING GOOD. Somehow I do feel like I'm in touch with Nature and I really can feel the energy that's flowing around the surrounding environment. Like when I go to a nature park, gosh it feels good when I see the birds chirping happily, the fishes swimming freely and even the warm radiance of the sun..it just feels so good to be with Nature. Other than Nature, you can go to a after-work mrt train and you can feel all the negative energy given off by the people..somehow I know that they're really stressed out and stuff...but out of these working people there are a few exceptional ones that really give off a good vibe. For example, you just wanna be around them for no reason..they just make you feel so fucking good. Okay that's enough about energy sensing. Lol.

Oh yeah, my sister stopped scaring me too. Seriously I thought that nothing could scare me, until my sister started ambushing me when I go to the bathroom. Lol, it takes a heck load of courage for me to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night..who knows? Maybe my sister could be lurking around the corners. LOL! No offence sis. ;p
Dad stopped going to the kitchen to find food too, guess he's probably stopping his scavenger hunt for food in the middle of the night. Maybe he's trying to lose the belly. Go Dad! =D
And Mum is so fucking awesome, she's the one helping me the most nowadays with all these future studies stuff..and shes willing to get me dinner in the middle of the night? Gosh, I'd better appreciate her more.

I think I'm happy with my family, sure they're ups and downs sometimes but it doesn't matter.
Family matters most for me. Well even though I may aim real high in my ambitions, I'll fly all the way back to Singapore at least once a month for a Family dinner. ;D

I've been jogging too and after a jog I just feel great, somehow all the negative energy is drained out and spent on jogging. Heck, I feel good when I exercise.

Life's great. Even though without any bottom girl I'm fucking Happy. I don't need any girl to make me feel great, hell when I look at myself..LOL I can't help but smile for being who I am.
I really love to appreciate myself now. I deserve all the blessings that I have.
Maybe I'll consider being Single for the moment..gotta enjoy single-hood while it lasts.
I love myself. I love my Life.

Rock On People. Yeah. ;)

Lol @ this Bitch.

2007-10-31T00:28:00.000+08:00

Wow, when I wanted to cut ties with this ex-Bitch of mine there she goes wanting her final assault against poor little old me to satisfy her ego. :(

Awww, what do I have to say? Man, I didn't do nothing to her. LOL, but anyways I ain't giving no shit about her. Why would I waste a whole load of time and money for this Bitch? My mates were right about you, heck, everyone was right about you, the thing is I didn't believe them about how you are, and what the hell I even defended this Bitch. I guess your true colours showed after all.
LOL. Heck, I'm wasting time typing this shit up.

Well, guess after the O levels I'm done with this Bitch, I wouldn't need to see her ever again. Thank God time flies. I can't help it though, to get back at her by showing the finger and saying, "Bitch, that was for insulting me", with a smile. Hell it'll feel good for a little payback. But I'm done with such little childish things.

Who am I anyways? I'm a motherfucking Man. Doesn't mean you fucking insult me in the face and in front of other people that I'm gonna let your little ego play with me and get away with it.
No Bitch plays me like a fool..what do you think I am? A Fool? LOL.

I KEEP MY POWER FOR MYSELF, Bitch. And You ain't getting any of it. NO Bitch takes control over me. Need a Reason?

I'm glad I left this Bitch for good. In fact I would definitely benefit from it if I left her earlier and I should have went for the other girl instead..although she's not as cute as this Bitch....at least she's a motherfucking good cook, massage therapist, singer, bassist..she could even make a good Wife for me. Lol, she would cook for me when I'm hungry or even gave me massages when I over strained my muscle groups.
Heck, she's a fricking good kisser and seriously...the touch of her tongue....her smell...

The feeling of her skin sliding against mine...holding her in my arms...

Her submitting to my strength...being a good gal under me...

My hands touching her body and finding pleasure...

Soft lips, soft tongue, willingness...reaching..

and becoming...

Shit, I guess it's a little too detailed..but one thing about the other girl was...I enjoyed the way she tasted.

FUCK, why the heck am I such a dumbfuck to even choose this Bitch over this Girl...ok maybe of the physical attraction and the performance I did with her on stage. But really that's all...I didn't felt I was even connected to her, although she smelled good it's because she's using a motherfucking shampoo to make her smell feminine. Her hand is so fucking small and mainly she's a fucking idiot.

Lol, that girl ain't need no shampoo..she smelled real fucking good even without one. Well I can turn a average looking girl to a hottie anytime, dress her up well good and slap on a little makeup..and AHA! There you have it people, a 6.5 almost instantaneously transforms into a solid 8.
Well I talked to this girl about a week ago, she asked me how I'm doing and stuff and we talked real deep, I can sort of feel this connection to her...somehow like I really can understand her so fucking well that I kinda knew what she was thinking..feeling...and she can understands me well too. It's like she had this "Soul mate" feeling over me. And yeah, I think she had it too....
I don't know, she hooked up with another guy when I was with the Bitch...stealing her away wouldn't be a pleasant thing to do...like what the heck, I know how it feels like to have your girl stolen away, and seriously speaking it's fucking heartbreaking to experience it...so maybe I'll just leave this Girl alone for now, she calls every now and then and tells me she ain't satisfied with her Man. Gosh, what the fuck am I supposed to do anyway? Replace her Man? Bah...I don't know really, I'm kinda confused....somehow I want her and somehow I don't want the guy to get hurt and cry like a Bitch all day long..
And she says she wants to see me again....I don't know why but she sounded different this time..maybe she already got off with her Man...
I don't know if I'm ready yet, I mean..I got loads of stuff I wanna do and enjoy by myself first..
I wanna make an Album of my songs and get Famous...I wanna get a job and earn at least $10000...I wanna date all those gorgeous Women who are giving me choosing signals (I dunno why but I tend to attract older Women)..I wanna develop my own body to a much more muscular structure..heck, I even want to start a small Business soon..which I'll teach them a few tricks that I came out with on the Guitar and Voice. ;)

Bah, I'm going to sleep...it's my Chinese O levels tomorrow...they say sleeping can help....all right...goodnight.

Wanna see some Magic?

2007-10-26T18:25:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, you wanna see some real cool Magic? ;)

Bought Triflex and ZMA.

2007-10-25T23:26:00.000+08:00

Oh my gosh,

I spent a whole load of cash on my Nutrient pills from GNC.

First was ZMA.

ZMA (Zinc monomethionine aspartate and Magnesium Aspartate) is a supplement used by bodybuilders and athletes. It was developed by Victor Conte (founder of BALCO Laboratories in Burlingame, California) and is a combination of zinc, magnesium and vitamin B6. The formula is "patent pending" and the name "ZMA" trademarked by SNAC System Inc, also founded by Victor Conte. ZMA is claimed to raise testosterone and IGF-1 levels which may aid in gaining muscle size and strength. It is used as a bodybuilding supplement.

ZMA is a combination of two minerals, zinc and magnesium, and Vitamin B-6 or pyridoxine. All three of these compounds are important in biological processes, and while studies have shown that most Americans get enough zinc and Vitamin B6,^[1] more than 50% are deficient in magnesium.^[2]

An increase in exercise can lead to the loss of vitamins and minerals making it particularly important for bodybuilding due to the blood sugar level rises and urination increases, increasing the loss of magnesium, zinc, B12, B6, folic acid, and many other nutrients. Although drinking water re-hydrates an athlete, fruit juice, sports drinks or foods high in water such as vegetables are needed to replenish water-soluble nutrients.

The proportion of ingredients generally used in products is 20-30 mg Zinc, 400-500 mg Magnesium and ~10mg B6. According to the label directions, ZMA should be taken before bed on an empty stomach (2 hours after eating your last meal and at least 30 minutes prior to any other supplements). The product should not be taken with calcium.

Second was GNC Triflex™.

Triple action formula. Helps rebuild cartilage and lubricate joints.
Support the body's ability to support joint health integrity*Supports the body's natural ability to regenerate cartilage. Supports the body's natural ability to support joint tissue/function.

Third was GNC Ultra Mega® Gold without iron Multivitamin.

Nutrient-dense multivitamin, mineral and antioxidant formula designed to support:

Energy Production
Heart Health
Eye Health
Healthy Digestion

TIMED RELEASEGo for the gold with GNC's most potent multiple vitamin. Ultra Mega® Gold is scientifically designed and combines important ingredients essential to maintaining good health. Just two timed-release caplets provide important vitamins, minerals, enzymes and antioxidants.Energy Production & Metabolism

Features 100 mg of B-vitamins that are essential for carbohydrate metabolism and energy production.
Minerals play an important role in maintaining health and are involved in key processes in the body including metabolism.

Heart & Eye Health

Includes lycopene and B-vitamins such as folic acid, B6 and B12 that are important for maintaining cardiovascular health.
Provides lutein, an important carotenoid, that supports eye health.

Antioxidant Protection

Offers protection from harmful free radicals that can destroy healthy cells and promote the cell aging process.
Combines antioxidant vitamins C and E with alpha-lipoic acid, tocotrienol complex, green tea and lycopene.

Healthy Digestion

Enzymes such as protease, lipase and amylase facilitate normal digestion by breaking food down into simpler compounds so the body can use the food's nutrients.

Lol, my Dad paid for this one. Thanks Dad. ;D

I also got Amino Fuel from TwinLab which contains Bodybuilding amino acids essential for muscle growth from my Uncle and Hydroxycut as a Thermogenic Fat Burner that helps boost energy and decrease body fat. I may consider getting whey protein with creatine for accelerated results.

These are essential for my new fitness training programme. Well basically, I'm doing bodyscuplting...I gotta bluk up my size first which means I'll get bigger than usual. Real BIG like those WWE Pro-wrestlers then I'll cut till I get the Brad Pitt body type. Lol, it seems I'm gonna spend loads of time hitting the Gym. I'll be saving up to get my own personal barbell with 20kg weights.
Other than that O levels are here finally.

Heh, it's gonna be a heck of an Adventure.
Well I'm ready to Rock.

Bring it on.

No more negative shit on my blog.

2007-10-23T09:44:00.000+08:00

I have finally decided to stop posting negative shit on my blog.
All of these negative bullshit can go to the trash can actually. The reason I'm not posting anymore negative stuff up is because I wanna change the atmosphere here to something of a good,happy and light mood. I realized it the moment I skimmed through my blog and could sort of "feel" the negative aura around.

LOL. Ok, it's time to start posting up some positive stuff.

Well it's been a few days and I'm really feeling good. Not on the outside but in the inside. It's like I really feel and appreciate who I really am deep inside. LOL. I could go out there now and heck, say "Hi", to hundreds of people without feeling bad about myself. Heck, I'm so high that it's probably to the level of estacy...ok erm, maybe a little below that or I would lose myself and see weird things like how I saw a "fake" ghost last night and it turned out to be my Sister. LOL HAHA. XD

Also not long ago in the middle of the night when I woke up to use the toilet (for obvious reasons), I heard a sound coming from the Kitchen downstairs..I got freaky and took a lightsaber to beat the robber...AND WHO THE HECK IT WAS? IT WAS MY FATHER LOOKING FOR FOOD IN THE FRIDGE. LOL.
And I looked like a fool actually, holding a toy lightsaber and dumbfounded...it's like, CHEY!
-_-'

Aiya, you would do the silliest of things to protect your own home from burglars. Haha you bastards, at least I admitted my own silly actions to protect my own home! ;P

Ok other than that I've been doing my Gratitude book for about 5 days now. And what the heck I could already experience a whole new level of Greatfullness. Greatful that I'm alive, Greatful for the Air-Con, Greatful for the free food I get at home, Greatful for the Sprite-Ice I stole from my tuition teacher, Greatful for the Fishermen's Friend which I also stole from the tuition teacher. LOL. I did not actually steal them, but yeah I forced her to give it to me in a *ahem* charming way.

Guys and Gals, you too should get yourself a Gratitude book. Every small action counts..heck, Everything Counts. Life could never been so fucking great for me.

All right, I'm Ready To ROCK THE WORLD. YEAH!
I'll post more about what's been going on for me later in the night.
Rock On.

普通朋友 by 陶喆

2007-10-21T21:55:00.000+08:00

Anyone has the lyrics to this song? I might be playing this song for a concert next time if I do get the lyrics and chords right. ;D

Gratitude Book.

2007-10-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

I'm gonna start a Gratitude Book. Starting as of Today and everyday night before I sleep..I'm gonna write something I'm greatful for before turning off the lights.

I will do this for 30 days in a row, along with an act of kindness each day, and also in conjunction with reciting the following words:

Thank you for the abundance.
Thank you for the wealth.
Thank you for all the happiness, protections and good health.

Yep.
Anyone care to take this up along with me? Let me know. ;)

Yours Sincerely,
Ivan See

PS: For all you Internet/Computer savvy folks. WTH ARE YOU DOING? CLICK HERE NOW.

It's all inside of me.

2007-10-16T23:55:00.000+08:00

I guess I do have a hole inside myself. And I realized that I have turned to things such as Alcohol, Women and Music to fill that hole in my own heart. Well, I'm gonna be real honest here and admit that I'm just a Man. LOL, not even a Man yet actually. But it's all right, we all grow up and face through tough times to make ourselves stronger. What I really needed was myself. My own personal growth in Life, yeah although shit happens to me I know I'm never giving up. I know that myself I'm not someone who gives up easily.

I feel much better now after some motivation from the most unexpected scenarios. I've been to IMH (woodbridge), and seeing the people there...I don't wanna end up mad like them. Maybe I'm crazy and deserved to be locked up like them coz I think too much about things. And don't tell me not to think too much, coz' I've been wondering actually...if it's the Government who controls the Country..then who controls the Government? Well...I've been thinking about this actually and you'll never believe my own bullshit theory. It's actually the Banks that control the Government and to them War is the most profitable thing that could happen to them. Why? War requires more influx of money from the Government and the Government loans money from the International Bank in order to supply the War...and the International Bank loans them the Money at Interest. And everything is at Interest. I'll tell you guys something I uncovered, The Bankers are the one behind the scenes. They're the one with the Ultimate power, heck give me a country's money supply and I care not who makes the laws, rules or whatever else. And guys, the ultimate goal of the bank is to have the world under one World Government. Yes, ultimate control of the World. And we ain't spared, every passport now has a device located inside to locate our positions. Soon we'll be having to carry Identification Cards that contains all our data inside, heck...in the future microchips will even be implanted to us. And they ain't gonna do it by force, it appears to look pleasant. They'll say it's for some safety reason or whatever else bullshit.

I don't know if I'm right or not, hell I guess I think too much eh. LOL. But when you do think too much, you could see through everything. Behind the scenes and who's really the one in charge here. Heh, guess no one would believe my own bullshit anyway..so what's the use of opening up my own mouth to get ridiculed?

I think I'm a silly fool who gets things too complicated. I may not know the motives or intentions of whatever, but I may be right about it. It's hard for me to explain, you gotta go out there and see it for yourself and discover the truth for yourself in the end.

Well, other than that I'll get back to my personal Life.

I'm doing okay I guess, recovery isn't a fast process you know. ;p
And the O levels are so near, I really ain't prepared for it. I'm Right-Brained and I can't think Logically anymore, my left brain is all screwed up. Simple equations are like a heck load of complications for me now..guess I should work more on my Logical mind, so I'll be able to think logically and hey, Nerds can earn loads of money so maybe I'll be a computer programmer geek. Bah, numbers ain't no fun for me actually. I do love numbers when they're easy but when they get harder and harder I get real frustrated and I have to find out how the heck am I supposed to solve this? Mainly I leave those that I don't know for my Tuition teacher to handle. LOL.

Oh fuck the geeky shit. I ain't no good in what I don't like. XD

I'll be bleaching my hair golden white after my O's, I'm gonna cut my hair tomorrow.

It's a start. :)

How shitty can Life get. Bah,

2007-10-15T21:00:00.000+08:00

I don't know what the fuck is happening to me right now.
Things have been going fucking wild lately.

First thing that made my life a fucking joke was that she left me. Yes, I did felt like shit. Worse than shit really, I don't show my emotions easily. Like when I'm happy I'm usually sad, or when I'm quiet means I'd prefer to be left alone. How could the Girl I loved so deeply just disappear? It's hard to accept it, I don't want no other gal but her. BUT FUCK IT. IT'S TOO SAD AND TOO BAD.
LOL. Silly ol' me.

Another thing is a Friend who has been through Hell with me, heck..we faced discrimination together, we faced Fights together, we been through so many fucking things together. The thing is he's in IMH now for no fucking reason. And fuck, I'm the only Friend he's left with and mainly too..all my Friends whom I used to be close to left Singapore too. Like now I'm all alone again, sure there's Fair-Weather Friends who I know but hey, they're just Fair-Weather Friends. We really were there for each other, like real Brothers who'll look out for each other and really understand each other. Fuck it, I'm all alone and I really don't think I'll be able to handle more of this shit.

I also have to make a police report coz' I lost my IC, not mainly "I" lost my IC. Someone I really trusted lost my IC. And I don't think he's really trustable anymore, like Man you stole my Chick in the club and you lost my IC, fuck you even had the guts to tell me you forgot to bring my IC since June everytime we meet up? Fuck you, I'm paying a whole fucking $300 here just to replace my fucking IC. Your really a bastard who knows how to burn a hole in my Pocket eh? Thanks for making me BROKE. I really do appreciate it. :)

Another shit that's been happening to me is my own Studies, my mind can't fucking think at all. Be it the simple equations to complex formulas my mind is B-L-A-N-K. Did I say I totally forgot everything about Maths? My own studies is getting fucking screwed up coz' so many shit has been happening to me. Sometimes I get crazy and I tear the whole fricking book apart, the pages, the notes, nothing was spared. My whole room's a fucking mess too, bah.

I got my own legs injured too from walking too much around, I can't even walk properly. And going to the Doctor is more of Money wastage. Fuck it.
What's worse being rejected from your own Church Friends whom you wanna meet up with just for dinner? Being shouted at for nothing by a FAT FUCK HEDGEHOG named RUSSELL KOH who I thought was a reliable mate. You hear me RUSSELL? The decision isn't yours to make, yeah I'm not the same Ivan whom you used to knew. I thought Church mates were supposed to welcome each other, in the end I was rejected? LOL. Russell Koh, your just another asshole who's so FUCKING SPOILT. Even Daddy and Mommy needs to feed you till your a whole fucking fat ball. LOL. Ugly fuck, don't come criticizing what I wear, what I do, what I am, when your the fucking one who's in the Wrong. Watch your ego punk, before someone comes along and break it all. Heck, I would. Now that I mentioned it, no one really talks to me when I come to Church, I feel like I'm rejected really. Like Eugene, like Benjamin, I know how they feel. We're all outcasts anyway. Don't go talking to us behind our back and say we're Emo, we're Beng, we're Playboys, we're bad people, we're this and that when you ain't even understand us. Now I don't blame everyone in the Church, just these few like eg, Russell Koh, Lance Lee.

And where's the part when all Hell brakes lose and you totally lose control over everything in your entire life? It's right now for me.
I'm alone, I'm Broke, I'm HeartBroken, I'm Crazy.

I do feel like ending it all. Now for the first time in my Life I wanna die. I wanna end this whole fucking piece of shit. Eating pills, getting drunk, smoking are just temporary happiness..it won't do me any good since I tried all this shit already. Life isn't meant to be shitty but why the fuck I'm feeling shitty now anyways?

Hell you never seen me so down and weak before. Now's all your chance for all the haters out there to laugh and look down upon me. Go ahead, laugh. But don't pity.

I guess I gotta hang on, I gotta grasp and cling on to myself before I fall into the dark deep endless pit. Heck I think I'm already falling. I really need some help. I really need some encouragement, I really need some Love.

I guess I gotta be Strong......

Holy Shit. Mass Manipulation.

2007-10-15T13:34:00.000+08:00

Mass Manipulation. Don't know what I'm talking about? Take a look, it's everywhere..it's in the Media, it's on the Radio, it's in your own Entertainment, it's in your own peer groups, it's in your own Church even.
For example, if you all have heard of Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls" song, it keeps on repeating the "Suicidal" word. And do you know that people HAVE DIED because of this song, not girls actually...Boys who got their Hearts broken by Fucking Hot Chicks. And what the heck? The tune's catchy and the tempo great but NO ONE is even aware of the affirmations being put in. "Beautiful Girls will get me Suicidal", "Beautiful Girls just want my Money", "Beautiful Girls are not meant to be taken out and be Dated". LOL. You guys can continue to listen to this song and waste your own life just because of a Hot Chick while I'll be the one who'll take all the Beautiful Girls out there. If you want a Hot Chick/Beautiful Girl, you gotta be a Real Man, a Man of Integrity, A Man Of Character, A Man of Moral Values, A Real Man. While you guys get jealous over me talking to 2-5 Hot Chicks a day, I won't mind but to laugh at all of ya. This happened to me before when some puny-assed coward tagged on my blog and called me a Flirt? LOL, poor guy must have been jealous over me taking his Gal, well I won't mind if I weren't so Kind Hearted. FUCK IT GUYS, BE A REAL MAN. Every Gal wants a Real Man, ask them for goodness sake. Morale of the story, don't listen to songs that will bring you down and watch what the Media does to Manipulate you.

I Believe.

2007-10-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

I really do Believe. :)

Late Night Secrets.

2007-10-12T01:36:00.000+08:00

I really had an Enjoyable dinner with my Parents, we went to Jack's Place and just really got a cool cozy corner. My Dad poked fun at me, WTH?! LOL COCKY BASTARD! How could you laugh at your own Son? Your like the Witwicky Dad in Transformers who was gonna get the Son a Porsche, but wth it was a joke. Aww Dad you make me sad. "He knows how to appreciate coffee, *turns to Mum* I really didn't know he can appreciate coffee HAHAHAHAHA!" so I said, "Ya la ya la ACTION la you!" LOL anyways we definitely had a great time. :)

After that, I went to Town to Perform LIVE! Yeah, and I guess it's pretty good..though it's a small step, it's all worth it when people come up to you and say "Hey, that's some pretty nice Singing!", guess it's not so bad after all.

Mainly for today, I really had a great time.

I took some photos, I'll upload them as soon as possible for your viewing pleasure. :)

I really have Plans for the Future, although how impossible it may seem I'll definitely achieve my own Ambitions. You can count on it, I'll bet with ya...let's say a Hundred bucks for now. ;p

Till next time Fellas, till next time.

PS: Here's a little song for ya. :)

For The Longest Time

The Rock-Star.

2007-10-11T12:01:00.001+08:00

Yep, that's The Rock-Star your looking at. ;)

Thursday Night, Mum's Birthday.

2007-10-11T09:09:00.000+08:00

My Mum's Birthday celebration is today. Time flies eh? Soon she'll be 48-49, a real old lady by then.

Besides that, after the celebration I'm gonna go live on Stage at Wisma, Indochin / The Nude Restraunt. Hope you'll guys will support me and when I do get Famous I'll definitely show my appreciation and thanks to you all.

Rock-Star's gonna ROCK the World.

Believe in me guys, most importantly..believe in yourselves. ;)

Well wish me all the best! I'm off to prepare for the Night.

Rock On.
-Ivan

The Break Up.

2007-10-10T03:34:00.000+08:00

We broke up, yeah that's right.

We broke up.

Definitely I'm sad, but I gotta handle this shit like a Man.
My Father used to tell me, the first thing to do is to be a Man, a Man of integrity, of Moral Values and of Character. Guess I really have much to learn.

It's really hard to go through all these shit all Alone again, it really reminds me of how my ex and I broke up...like a whole fucking deja vu.
LOL, I'm not gonna marry her or something anyway...we're just here for the fun of it. I understand really, all the best to ya in the Future then. Sure there may be better Girls for me, but you'll be remembered still as people are unique and yes...you did broke my heart into a million pieces. But I didn't give up, I think after some time of self-talk and motivation...I'm much more stronger now. Being a Man isn't easy, especially when someone you Loved disappears from your life.

Well it's ok I guess.

Hmm...other than this shit going on.

I think I'm really gonna be Famous. ;)

I'll travel the World, play on stage in front of a Million People and Sign autographs that are worth a million bucks. LOL.
I'm never giving up my dreams, thank you guys to be there for me when I'm in my most vulnerable state. :)

Especially Li Wen, Jean, Hui Min, Josephine and Ben, thanks for hearing this shit out and for really giving encouragement. Don't worry all righty? Ivan's here to support everyone of you as well! YEAH ROCK ON! I love you guys from the bottom of my heart. ;D

I'm a Real Man.
I'm gonna believe in myself.
I'm gonna make it through.
I'm gonna ROCK THE WORLD!

It's time for me to start a new Life.
A Life full of Adventures.
A Life where I'll be able to..

Live. Laugh. Love. :)

The LAST TIME EVER my Love.

2007-10-09T00:54:00.000+08:00

For the rest of my life, this is the LAST FUCKING TIME I'm gonna get treated like SHIT from a Gal.

FUCKING-GIVE-ME-SOME-RESPECT.

Why am I being treated like a piece of crap?

Ok.

You never reply my smses, and never even fucking bother to talk to me. What? You not free? Then tell me your not free, otherwise it's all BULLSHIT. You never were there for me when I'm going through Hell. Where were you when I needed you most? Only to rely on myself in the end.
I wanted to spend time with you, but you were NEVER FREE. And WTF? You got loads of fucking free time to spend with Friends yeah, and even INVITED me to join along when you never fucking bother to talk to me and leave me as a outcast in the group.
Your not even comfortable with me holding your hand in front of friends, be by my side and do things together. We're a fucking couple, and couples treat each other with RESPECT.
AND WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS? The present I bought for you, you didn't even brought it home with you. And that's the LAST FUCKING TIME I'll ever get you a present.
I'm treating YOU so fucking good. You could go ask all my previous girlfriends and compare all the shit I'm doing for you. GO AHEAD AND ASK. Li Wen, Jia Min, Hui Wen, Michelle Lee, Karen or Grace or whatever Girl that I used to date, yeah go take my Phone again and check for their numbers..oh, don't forget to memorize their numbers too.
That's also something to add...YOU FUCKING CHECKED MY PHONE. And what the hell? You don't fucking trust me at all. I GUESS MAYBE YOUR TOO SUSPICIOUS THAT I MIGHT CHEAT ON YOU. Tell me then, if you don't want me to leave then what the fuck? Treat me good and give me RESPECT.
I didn't really bothered to do all the nice shit but I made an exception, thinking that, "All right, if I did treat her well she'll treat me well too", and I NEVER expected to get taken for granted.

Didn't you promised that you'll treat me better once I started treating you good?
Didn't you said that you'll commit and get serious?
Why not you take a look at where we're at now then?

THIS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN...IS WHAT I CALL "BULLSHIT" PROMISES. ;D

FUCK THIS BULLSHIT.

I'll tell you something, of 2 Promises that I made to myself and swore never to break.

1. I will never lie or cheat on her NO MATTER WHAT.

2. She'll have the best time of her Life.

Heck, I'll even show you the entire contract that I made for myself and signed.

In fact, I stayed fucking Loyal to you and I DID NOT CHEAT ON YOU.
I went to club with my friends, there were so much fucking hot chicks to talk to...hell did I talk to them? NO. I only talked to my own Friends and ignored the rest of the chicks.
Someone wants me back and did I get back with her? NO. I stayed Loyal to you no matter the circumstances.
Gals I dated from the clubs asked me out. Did I go on a date with them? NO.
Did I date other girls while I was with you? NO.
NO.
NO.
NO.

I'm SEE WEI LIANG IVAN.
I'm a FUCKING Rock-Star.

I'm A REAL FUCKING MAN (WITH 2 TESTICLES AND A PENIS TO PROVE IT). :)
I've been through things worse than Hell. Life isn't all so perfect. But it's all worth the effort.
I BECAME WHO I WANTED TO BE.

And you know what?
You think your so fucking big huh?

Don't tell me what to do, I'm not YOUR BOY-TOY.
Someone else can take that position of doing favours for you because they like you and all you gotta do is smile and say pleaaase. LOL.
I ain't gonna take your shit ever again.

HELL, SOMEONE START THE CAR AND LET'S GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE.

This is your last.

This is your LAST CHANCE.
Cherish it, before it's gone.

Love,
Ivan

Ain't it your line? Cherish whatever you have? Ironic.

Miss you guys loads.

2007-10-06T23:19:00.000+08:00

I really miss all my friends.
Now that they're gone and moved on, I'm still here in Singapore.
Seriously I really do miss them.

I MISS YOU ALL! COME VISIT ME SOON! XD

I kind missed talking to my #1 Fan too.....haha. :(

I missed talking to Terence, Tian Rong, Gareth and My Churchies.

I missed talking Jia Feng, Seok Hui, Daniel and all my primary school mates.

I missed talking to the Princess who's soo spoilt now that she's talking to another Knight. :(

I missed talking to my First, like I really wanted to get things right with her and let her know that I did loved her and when she went away to London....I really didn't told her everything she wanted to hear.

I missed talking to Ben too, LOL I'm not gay or anything. XD

I missed talking to my Darling, just letting her know how much I Love Her. ;)
I missed having all you guys around.

I don't know, I just really miss everyone whom I knew long ago....
When I look back at life, I realized how much time has changed.

I don't know why, why are all my Friends slowly fading away now?
Like why do most of them leave Singapore?
Am I supposed to leave Singapore too?
Am I destined to be without Friends?
Am I supposed to rely on myself again?
Am I all alone again?

I don't know.
I guess during all these times,
I really gotta believe in myself.
I gotta believe I'll make it through no matter what.
I gotta believe I'll be a Rock-Star no matter what.
I gotta believe I'll make it happen.

I'll have to support myself all over again, now that I really lost so much Friends in my life..there's no one to talk to really. I want Quality Friends, I don't want any Quantity.
You all were really Quality, seriously speaking...I love everyone who has touched my life.
Like you guys were there when I really needed help, when I was scared to go on stage I remembered that you guys encouraged me. Especially my #1 Fan and the Bratty Princess. And really I appreciate that. Thank you. ;)

Soon too I'll be leaving Secondary School, I really will miss everyone in Hong Kah Secondary School. Those who have really been a big influence to me, Mdm Usha for being my Form Teacher and really showing lots of care for me, Aunty Jasmine who lit up my path and showed me the right way to walk, Mr Chin for all of his good advice, Mr Cheng for his Guitar, Miss Wong Fui Yen for inviting me to FCBC. Mrs Er for supporting my Career in Music!
Hell, all these teachers are one heck of a gang. ;p

Not only that, I'll miss my classmates too.
Especially for this year, I definitely will miss you guys.
Like, Hui Rong and Hui Min..thanks for accepting me as part of the clique! LOL I'll treat you guys some Korean cuisine when I have the Money. If you guys weren't there for me I don't think anyone else would. Love the 2 of ya'll. *Hugs* :)
Shu Feng for talking to me more about God and being a real buddy.
How Chwen for what fuck? Entertainment maybe, though we used to be enemies and we're always beating the crap out of each other. We became real good buddies after a little conflict. ;)
Nurul Ramizah, you've been my friend since Secondary One..omg, after the O level's let go to Hog's Breath Cafe as your birthday treat. =D
Haziq for being the cool punk rock dude that's always rockin.
Alvin for the entertainment when we're bored. LOL.
Jian Feng for being there to hear my previous problems with my Ex and stuff,
Ridzwan for the cool slick dance moves you showed recently.
Si Yao....well, mainly thanks for being a classmate.
Ming Kang for helping me smuggle drinks during recess! XD
Fazeelah, though we used to walk home together as Friends for a while, your father scared the heck out of me so I didn't dare to walk that way anymore.
Sharmilla for hearing all my randomly popped out love songs,
Fazlin for being a Lady who'll keep me company when I'm bored out of my mind.
Winnie for supporting me in my Singing Career! ;D
Sakinah for encouraging me and being there when I needed encouragement in studies the most.
And lastly, Fiona Eng for all the drama and weird stories and questions that keeps me entertained. LOL.

Bratty Princess, I hope you'll be happy with who you are. Don't be so Low Self Esteem all right?
#1 Fan, no matter what YOU GOTTA JIA YOU! Now it's my turn to support you so JIA YOU!
Churchies, I'm sorry if I don't go back to Church..I'm all mixed up, I really will go back soon. :)
Sarah and Melissa, I really miss you guys. Good times. ;p
My Darling, I'll wait till once the O Levels are finally over and I'll take you out to this special place you never knew, and I'll stay Loyal to ya. So wait for me all righty. ;)

And those who did became my Girl, even though we walk separate paths now..I would personally like to thank everyone of you for the Love you gave me. Like you were there to cheer me up, get me breakfast, lunch and dinner, support me till the end, be by my side and hold my hand when I'm down, mainly just really Loving Me Unconditionally. I'll wish you girls all the best in no matter what you do. Just remember, once you see me on the TV rockin' with my Guitar...you'll have to gotta say "OH MY GOSH, HE WAS MY BOYFRIEND!" . LOL HAHA! XD
;PPP

No matter what happens..I'll Remember all of ya'll.

Be it when I'm already a Star, or no matter how Famous or Popular I become...All of you will always be in this special place of My Heart. I'll never forget the good times we all had.
With all my Heart, with all my Sincerity. I Love You Guys.

Rock on.
-Ivan

2007-10-06T22:03:00.000+08:00

Don't know why Girl,
You took my veiled-heart
Then the moment you got it you threw it away
Seeing it's all truly me to say
You wouldn't accept it this way

Coz it's just me Girl,
I am who I am and it ain't no Lie
The times we had, the moment we waited for
Ain't gonna come true anymore
When I'll say you ain't worth anymore

Girl take a look at Me
I don't play around in circles
When it comes to Love
Make it worth or it'll be your loss
Coz I ain't wasting time Girl,
Don't keep me waiting, make your move
Or I'll won't bother to make a call~

Neither You or Me will Fall
In
Love~
Coz You ain't Worth
If you keep me waiting.
If you don't keep me
In Love